When Love Is More Than You Think You Can Manage

Father, Father, Father help us
Send some guidance from above
Cause people got me got me questioning
Where is the love?

Where is the Love - The Black Eyed Peas

Yesterday was a rough day at work. Of course I can't explain the circumstances, but suffice it to say that there is an adult with whom I work whose methods and motives I do not like. One. Little. Bit. Right now, this person is the biggest challenge to that one little word I've decided I want to focus on.

There has never been a better time for a snow day than today, let me tell you. This would also be a good day to do some yoga. I have a lot of stress building up in my neck and upper back.

This person is not the greatest challenge I've faced in this category. Others have been much more difficult. There is neither time nor space, much less profit to listing my grievances with various evildoers from the past. Let us just say that I've been cheated
Been mistreated
and
I've been pushed down
I've been pushed 'round
furthermore
I've been made blue
I've been lied to
but fortunately not in the way which Linda Ronstadt was referencing. Who hasn't? We all have to deal with difficult people from time to time.

Mean people really suck, and they will probably always be around. But that's not my point in writing this post.

It is impossible to control other people's actions, but I can control my own. Instead of reacting to their nastiness and retaliating, I can decide to make sure my actions and my motivation are right. I'm human, and I do get angry. I may have to vent and rant and rave a little before I can get around to adjusting my attitude and doing what is right, but I will get there eventually.

As I was thinking about what an enormous pain in the ass this person is my difficulties with this person yesterday afternoon, I was reminded of some of those other situations in the past. All my anger and indignation never bothered any of those people one little bit. They were probably glad to see how their actions affected me. Sure, I had a right to my feelings, but that emotion did not improve the situation, and I did not like who I was becoming through it. I felt like anger and bitterness had taken root in my life and were rapidly obliterating all that was good. It was hard for me to enjoy anything in my life because I could not forget the wrong that had been done. My focus was off and I had no peace.

It doesn't matter what those situations were. Others have been through far worse, and my troubles would seem ridiculous in comparison. The principle is the same no matter what the problem. Never allow a person or situation to shift your focus and steal your peace.

During one of these situations, something happened that finally allowed me to begin letting go of the bitterness I was harboring. I was working on reading my way through the Bible in a year. (It is possible to be quite religious and still have your head up your ass--just in case you were wondering.) I came to a section in my daily reading, and it suddenly clicked for me that these were not just pretty words but something that I should perhaps be applying in my life--particularly in regard to this one situation

Matthew 5:44-48
But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;
That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.
For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same?
And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more [than others]? do not even the publicans so?
Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.

When I read this section from Matthew that morning, I felt like it was written specifically for me. Church folk would say I was convicted. That sounds like a criminal sentence or condemnation to me. I prefer to say I was encouraged and inspired to something better than what I had been living.

At first it was too much. I knew what it said. It was right there in black and white (or red if you've got that type of edition). But loving and blessing were just a bit much for me at that point. I decided to initiate the change by focusing on "pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you". I don't know if I can say that I trusted the rest would follow, but at the time it seemed like just praying was asking an awful lot.

Man, was that hard! I was like a petulant, little child. I did not want to pray for those people! I wanted to curse them instead! They didn't deserve my prayers. As soon as I thought that, I knew how utterly selfish and foolish it was, how much in denial of God's grace and mercy which none of us (no, not even I) have earned.

It took discipline, but I began to pray for those people. As I did, an amazing thing happened; I felt my burden lift. The tension that had been building between my shoulder blades began to ease, the ever-present headache disappeared, my heart felt lighter, the fog lifted, and I was able to be happy again. And I suppose that in praying for those people, although I didn't feel love for them, I was being loving and also blessing them. Did my prayers have any effect on the lives of these people? I may never know. One of these people does seem to have turned his life around a little. Whether or not my prayers helped him, I don't know. They sure helped me, though.

So, now I'm applying the same principle to this situation. I may still need to let off steam once in a while, but I will continue to pray both for this person and the situation in general.

Father, Father, Father help me
Send some guidance from above

I want to practice what I preach.

Show me how to love.