.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
Perhaps I made the situations in my life that I can't write about sound too dire yesterday. If I told you, likely you would laugh. Okay, maybe you wouldn't laugh, but you would wonder about me. I am not really a drama queen. With so many more serious things happening in the world and even to friends of mine, I certainly don't have much to complain about. In fact I am quite blessed.
But when you're tempted by the fears you've never given name to or allowed to surface and your most vulnerable places are exposed, when the tool you've relied on to work through your fear and inadequacies and failures is not available to you, the burden becomes quite heavy.
Thankfully, writing is not the only (or even the best) weapon in my arsenal. One benefit I've seen to this difficult period of my life and not being able to write about so many things that were happening is that I began to rely heavily on prayer for the unburdening of my soul. Words always come easier to my fingers than my mouth, and it was such a release to be able to tell someone without worrying about fumbling over spoken words.
I have never had much trouble trusting God to supply for my basic, physical needs, and He always has, often coming through in amazing ways when it seemed most unlikely and even impossible. Learning to trust God and seek answers from Him in regard to how to deal with situations that arise or relationships with other people or the action and direction I should take in my life is not so easy for me. As I began to pray for the right words to say at the right time and the correct actions to take in these situations, I found that I was able to speak and act. I may not have been able to fix everything on my own--that required other people to make the right choices as well--but I was better able to deal with those situations and take appropriate action rather than reacting based on emotion and fear. Not only that, but, in the midst of my personal storm, I had peace and assurance that I could make it through.
Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.
I Peter 5:7
The past year has been a difficult one. There are still challenges ahead. Whether I can write about those challenges or not, I will remember to pray first, and I will replace fear with faith.
3 comments:
Praying comes easily for me when I am giving thanks or sending up a prayer on behalf of someone else, but when it is time to set aside my pride and ask for God's guidance I am not always up for the challenge. I find it much easier to pretend I know what I'm doing. But since I highly doubt He is fooled, I have taken to writing prayers. My uncertainties flow much better on paper (or a word document...thank you technology), and because I'm so verbally inarticulate when I'm nervous I feel like I am getting the message across much better in writing. By putting my mind at ease in that manner I am more likely to cut the crap and get straight to it, which I feel is important even if God doesn't mind how talkative I tend to be when I'm feeling less than confident.
P.S. It's so nice to see you posting again!
You know that old saying "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder." ? I think the same can be said for dark times/personal storms. If you compare what is going on in your small slice of the world to others you will always find something worse than but that doesn't make what you are going through any less than for you and your heart.
Your faith is an inspiration! Again, I send much love and hugs your way!
I'm not very devout in my faith, but I try to pray everyday. Prayer plays an important role for me when the school year begins. At the beginning of each school day before any students enter my class, I try to pray. I find it helps me be a better teacher. I guess I should write more about this. It's probably good for a guy like myself who isn't the most devout soul to write about spiritual matters. There needs to be more time spent on discussing such matters.
Post a Comment