Perhaps I made the situations in my life that I can't write about sound too dire yesterday. If I told you, likely you would laugh. Okay, maybe you wouldn't laugh, but you would wonder about me. I am not really a drama queen. With so many more serious things happening in the world and even to friends of mine, I certainly don't have much to complain about. In fact I am quite blessed.
Monday, August 1, 2011
But when you're tempted by the fears you've never given name to or allowed to surface and your most vulnerable places are exposed, when the tool you've relied on to work through your fear and inadequacies and failures is not available to you, the burden becomes quite heavy.
Thankfully, writing is not the only (or even the best) weapon in my arsenal. One benefit I've seen to this difficult period of my life and not being able to write about so many things that were happening is that I began to rely heavily on prayer for the unburdening of my soul. Words always come easier to my fingers than my mouth, and it was such a release to be able to tell someone without worrying about fumbling over spoken words.
I have never had much trouble trusting God to supply for my basic, physical needs, and He always has, often coming through in amazing ways when it seemed most unlikely and even impossible. Learning to trust God and seek answers from Him in regard to how to deal with situations that arise or relationships with other people or the action and direction I should take in my life is not so easy for me. As I began to pray for the right words to say at the right time and the correct actions to take in these situations, I found that I was able to speak and act. I may not have been able to fix everything on my own--that required other people to make the right choices as well--but I was better able to deal with those situations and take appropriate action rather than reacting based on emotion and fear. Not only that, but, in the midst of my personal storm, I had peace and assurance that I could make it through.
Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.
I Peter 5:7
The past year has been a difficult one. There are still challenges ahead. Whether I can write about those challenges or not, I will remember to pray first, and I will replace fear with faith.
Posted by Jenni at 5:10 AM