Prairie Air

It's the End of the World As We Know It...

2011-08-06T12:41:00.004-05:00

There's a lot of gloom and doom in the news these days, and it seems to have permeated public and private thinking. The national debt is climbing steadily skyward, employment is low, the economy has not begun to recover, gas and grocery prices are up, tax revenues are down. With little hope of stemming the tide of debt or collecting sufficient taxes to cover our overgrown budget, our nation's credit rating has dropped. (Is it any wonder? I wouldn't loan us money either.) Add to that spring floods in parts of the country and droughts in other areas, both resulting in loss of crops. Tent cities are popping up in urban areas, and we are teetering on the brink of a depression. Why, not since the Dust Bowl days have we seen anything like it! The sky really is falling! It's the end of the world as we know it!

And I feel fine.

All my life I've seen the crises come and go. To anyone who has studied history, it is obvious that this is not unique to the modern world. There truly is nothing new under the sun. Natural disasters happen. Wars are fought. Governments and their leaders come and go. Civilizations and their economies are built and crumble again into nothing. Individuals manage to survive and even prosper in the midst of crises. Others are less fortunate. Still the world keeps right on spinning, despite the uncertainty of our times--of all times.

When there is no pressing world or national crisis or when we have exhausted our exploration of those topics, we like to invent personal obstacles for ourselves. I freely admit that I myself am prone to navel gazing and obsessing over personal flaws and private dramas. If we aren't creative or introspective enough to invent our own dilemmas, there is always someone willing to provide a new reason for neurosis. Are you aware of the dangers of genetically modified foods? Want to keep your children from being infected by the poison of this evil world? Protect them from pop music, television, and, most importantly, public school! Perhaps you'd better stick with home church as well. It's better not to trust anyone.

Now, I know what you're saying. "Wait a minute lady, didn't you homeschool? Don't you have a Bible fellowship in your home? Didn't you post an article about GMO foods on Facebook???"

All these things are true. It is not my intention to criticize people who homeschool, home church, or want to eat better. However, I would ask that everyone question their own motives for the choices they make. There are valid reasons for making all of these choices, but too often they are made out of fear. Fear is no way to make the decisions that guide your life. It will always complicate matters, compromise your judgement, and hold you back.

Beyond that, fear is not an appropriate motivation for Christians to have, yet I often see Christians running around screaming that the sky is falling. Sometimes they spend so much time worrying and crying out about the state of our country or our food or our children's education that they have less time to develop their relationship and walk with God. I have even seen homeschool parents who become so involved in telling everyone else why they should homeschool and how that they take time away from teaching their own children.

What it boils down to is that we do not trust God.

We do not trust God when He says that we are saved by grace and not by works (Ephesians 2:8-9), so we impose rules that do not come from God on ourselves and others. This is the function of religion and not of true faith.

We do not trust God to take care of us as Matthew 6:25-34 says He will. Instead we worry about the fate or our nation (which we have made a kind of god) and the economy and the stock market and the debt ceiling and our credit rating.

Rather than praying and giving thanks for our food while doing our reasonable best to make healthy choices, we worry about where it comes from, what went into it, and how it will slowly kill us.

When will we learn to live in God and put our trust in Him? That is the goal I'm working toward. That is what keeps me steady and unafraid in the midst of these turbulent and tumultuous times.

How excellent [is] thy lovingkindness, O God! therefore the children of men put their trust under the shadow of thy wings. Psalm 36:7

Behold, God [is] my salvation; I will trust, and not be afraid: for the LORD JEHOVAH [is] my strength and [my] song; he also is become my salvation. Isaiah 12:2

The sun was setting over Avalon
The last time we stood in the west
Suffering long time angels enraptured by Blake
Burn out the dross innocence captured again

Standing on the beach at sunset all the boats
All the boats keep moving slow
In the glory of the flashing light in the evenings glow

When will I ever learn to live in God?
When will I ever learn?
He gives me everything I need and more
When will I ever learn?

You brought it to my attention everything that was made in God
Down through centuries of great writings and paintings
Everything lives in God
Seen through architecture of great cathedrals
Down through the history of time
Is and was in the beginning and evermore shall be

When will I ever learn to live in God?
When will I ever learn?
He gives me everything I need and more
When will I ever learn?

Whatever it takes to fulfill his mission
That is the way we must go
But you've got to do it your own way
Tear down the old, bring up the new

And up on the hillside its quiet
Where the shepherd is tending his sheep
And over the mountains and the valleys
The countryside is so green
Standing on the highest hill with a sense of wonder
You can see everything is made in God
Head back down the roadside and give thanks for it all

When will I ever learn to live in God?
When will I ever learn?
He gives me everything I need and more
When will I ever learn?

Point Me in the Direction of Albuquerque

2011-08-04T17:32:00.003-05:00

This morning we packed Jo off in the little green Saturn and pointed her in the direction of Albuquerque.

So far she has suffered a cracked windshield (just replaced last month) in Texas thanks to a passing semi and the embarrassment of locking her keys in the car in New Mexico. Not too bad. According to her latest Facebook status update, she should be in Albuquerque now, where she is staying at the house of a family friend.

Only one of the three songs above is good. No, that's not entirely true. I suspect if you took the vocals out of one of them, the instrumental portion would be very nice on it's own. Neil Young is a major whiner.

I really don't understand this situation. Albuquerque is a pretty cool place. It seems like there should be a more worthy song about it.

Bright and early tomorrow morning, which is probably noonish in our Jo's estimation, she will head towards her next goal: Bakersfield, California.

Wait, is Dwight Yoakam not wearing pants in that photo??? Made you look. Either that or you were already thinking it.

I think I like this one.

Is this not the prettiest human skull you've seen?

This is such a kick, watching The Stones sing with southern accents. It makes Mick Jagger do some even stranger than usual things with his lips.

From Bakersfield, she'll have a shorter day's drive to Los Gatos where she'll be living for the next year.

Oops, that's about Los Gatos Canyon, which is some distance from the town of Los Gatos, but I thought it was interesting anyway, particularly since Jo is not flying there. She also is not an illegal immigrant, in case you were wondering. It is the only song I could find about either Los Gatos, though. Plus, I like to maintain a balance perspective and I've been spending too much time with Atlas Shrugged.

There are too many California songs to list, although Wikipedia does, without videos. Monterey is only about an hour away from Los Gatos, however, and The 1967 Monterey Pop Festival was part of rock history, according to the description attached to this video.

I actually prefer this more familiar song written to promote the 1967 Monterey Pop Festival. Okay, so neither is a huge favorite, but I do like the idea of wearing flowers in your hair.

I may talk more in a future post about why Jo is moving to California, but I think every trip deserves a soundtrack.

What journeys have you made this summer, actual or symbolic? What music would you include in the soundtrack for your travels?

Notes to Self

2011-08-02T21:03:00.003-05:00

(What she wrote in response to a post by the Keeper of the Eggshells)

What she would say to her 21-year-old self:
You don't always have to wait. Sometimes you can have it both ways. It may just take a little extra work and determination with some compromise thrown in to get what you want. Sometimes if you wait there will be time to follow your dreams later, but don't wait too long. Run down your dreams, even if you have to chase them in bits and pieces, a little at a time. Maybe your dreams will change and maybe not, but always keep a dream in your heart.

What she says to her almost twice as old self:
The things that caused you to wait were worth it, even if waiting was not as necessary as you thought. It is late, but it is never too late. What will you do today? How will you start to follow your dreams? Well then, start.

Sometimes she even follows her own advice. As of today, she is a college student. Junior college, part time only for now. Baby steps but steps forward nonetheless. That particular wait is over. And, to her utter amazement, she somehow tested into College Algebra. Will wonders never cease?

Prayer Is Mightier Than the Pen

2011-08-01T05:10:00.003-05:00

Perhaps I made the situations in my life that I can't write about sound too dire yesterday. If I told you, likely you would laugh. Okay, maybe you wouldn't laugh, but you would wonder about me. I am not really a drama queen. With so many more serious things happening in the world and even to friends of mine, I certainly don't have much to complain about. In fact I am quite blessed.

But when you're tempted by the fears you've never given name to or allowed to surface and your most vulnerable places are exposed, when the tool you've relied on to work through your fear and inadequacies and failures is not available to you, the burden becomes quite heavy.

Thankfully, writing is not the only (or even the best) weapon in my arsenal. One benefit I've seen to this difficult period of my life and not being able to write about so many things that were happening is that I began to rely heavily on prayer for the unburdening of my soul. Words always come easier to my fingers than my mouth, and it was such a release to be able to tell someone without worrying about fumbling over spoken words.

I have never had much trouble trusting God to supply for my basic, physical needs, and He always has, often coming through in amazing ways when it seemed most unlikely and even impossible. Learning to trust God and seek answers from Him in regard to how to deal with situations that arise or relationships with other people or the action and direction I should take in my life is not so easy for me. As I began to pray for the right words to say at the right time and the correct actions to take in these situations, I found that I was able to speak and act. I may not have been able to fix everything on my own--that required other people to make the right choices as well--but I was better able to deal with those situations and take appropriate action rather than reacting based on emotion and fear. Not only that, but, in the midst of my personal storm, I had peace and assurance that I could make it through.

Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.

I Peter 5:7

The past year has been a difficult one. There are still challenges ahead. Whether I can write about those challenges or not, I will remember to pray first, and I will replace fear with faith.

Lacing Up: Little Nikes

2011-07-31T14:43:00.004-05:00

Once upon a time there lived a girl (who perhaps was too old to still be called a girl, but it is never wise to suggest such things) who needed to write. The reasons for this need were several but could basically be reduced to her desire to remain sane--or at least keep the crazy under control.

It seemed such a simple thing to do. All that was required was for her to lace up her mental trainers and Just. Do. It. Such a snappy little slogan, but it was never so easy for her to put into practice. Why was it she always found it so difficult to strike that balance between her inner life and the world? In would rush the world at just the moment she became inspired or had deep thoughts on which to think and write and she would find herself mourning the time lost for silent walks and the lack of poetry in her life. Once the habit was broken, the momentum lost, it was always hard to regain.

Sometimes the mundane realities of life--the housework, the bills to pay, the children to raise and feed--pulled her away and left her too weary to think at the end of the day. At other times her own disorganized and distracted brain was the enemy. Then, too, there were times when life pressed hard upon her, shoving her down, and her favorite tool for fighting it--her pen--had to be laid aside because the stories she needed to tell did not belong to her alone. Those were the darkest times for her. She still had hope and faith. There was still that light for her, but she had to explore other methods of therapy outside of writing. She had to learn to say out loud the things she felt could be written but should never be spoken, and this took something more than she knew she had, even if she only said them to those she trusted most.

True, she could have chosen to write quietly, hiding her words away in a diary or stashing them in some secret file, but the words never seemed real to her when they were locked away like that. And what is the point if the words aren't real?

In all those dark months, she suspected there would be a time when the stories which did not belong to her would fade into the distance and those filling her mind would again belong only to her. She hoped there would be happy endings for them all and new beginnings, too. Still, she knew that each must be free to choose how his story will go, and that knowledge alone gave her strength and courage to press forward on her own path.

And now here she is, lacing up her writing shoes, putting one word in front of the other, forcing herself back into the race. Because she must. Because she may.

April Is

2011-04-01T07:04:00.003-05:00

The Other Side of Nowhere

On the other side of nowhere,
Lies an infinite expanse,
Of anything and everything
That doesn't make much sense.
I'm in here, and you're out there;
The picture keeps rewinding.

People laughing, crying, feeling...
I do not understand.
It's almost there within my reach;
But on the other hand,
I'm sliding, slithering, slowly slipping...
The tide has turned, and left the beach.

Pressing onward, pushing hard,
I cannot quit; I must move on.
My ragged feet have timeless trod
A land before, that lies beyond
Behind, sideways, and forward;
Strange and weird, bizarre and odd.

Shimmering meadows glazed in fog...
I see what others cannot hear.
My mindless mind is almost bare;
I stretch beyond Horizon's pier,
Precariously tottering on a log,
On the other side of nowhere...

by Frank George

Hello from my own other side of nowhere! Today is the first day of both National Poetry Month and National Autism Awareness Month. What better way to kick off both than with a poem about autism by someone who is autistic? I found the poem above a few days ago on this site.

Now, I know some of you think today is all about (im)practical jokes and other such tomfoolery, but I don't recognize that holiday. I love a good joke or prank, and I do enjoy the mocked up news stories, but too many people have carried it too far. And honestly, your jokes aren't funny and I'm not fooled. So just quit already. If it weren't for the fact that April 1st begins a month of awareness for two things I am passionate about (poetry and autism, that is), it would be the most annoying day of the year.

Ahem. So, back to what this day is really about. First of all, National Autism Awareness Month. You can read more about it here. Secondly, National Poetry Month. You can find out more about that here. Also, April 14 is Poem In Your Pocket Day, but you don't have to wait until the 14th to carry a poem in your pocket. You can start today and find a new poem for each day if you like. Print the poem above and carry it in your pocket if you like. It was written by an autistic man, but it rings true for me. I feel I've been there before--many times.

That's the beauty of poetry. Poetry is self expression, but good poetry is more. Good poetry ties us all together and helps us see how connected we are. No matter how different we sometimes think we are, we all share some things. Poetry helps us celebrate (and sometimes mourn) both our similarities and our differences and what it is to be human. It helps us understand one another.

How fitting then that National Autism Awareness Month should fall during National Poetry Month. The world could use a lot more understanding. Let this April be a reminder to work harder to understand others and celebrate the paradox of our amazing diversity and astonishing sameness.

And remember to carry a poem in the secret pocket of your heart and a song in your mouth. Always.

Do you have any favorite poems? What poem or poems speak most to you? What is the poem that fits you best right now? What poem is the theme of your life and heart?

In Which the Mouse Envies the Eagle

2011-03-13T16:27:00.006-05:00

But Mousie, thou art no thy lane,
In proving foresight may be vain:
The best laid schemes o' mice an' men
Gang aft agley,
An' lea'e us nought but grief an' pain,
For promis'd joy!
from To a Mouse by Robert Burns

Not to worry, neither mouse nor mouse house was harmed in the writing of this post. I only post these lines as a means of making excuse for yet another prolonged absence from blogging--and that after such grand plans and promises.

The truth of the matter is that I've never been very good at organizing my time, and I have not figured out how to do all the things I used to do before I worked in the time left in my day after work. Evenings I have just enough energy to do the necessary household chores, cook dinner, and fall asleep watching TV. (Our latest addiction has been Prison Break. Now there's an example of best laid schemes gone awry!) Weekends feel like an endless game of catch up. Even extra days off don't seem to afford me enough time. Someone or something is always there to make demands on that time.

I know. I'm such a whiner! This is what most people experience for most of their adult lives. I guess I'm not very good at being a grownup. Really I'm not complaining, though. I like my job and the people I work with. I feel I'm doing something good and truly worthwhile. I love my family. I'm thankful for my home. There are just so many things I'd like to do, and time just keeps on slippin'...

So, there it is, yet another apology post. As if anyone really cares. But I have so many things to say--about service and so much more. There has to be a way to balance it all somehow--to do what is necessary to live and still have time for service to others as well as what I need to feed my own soul. I won't quit trying, but I think I need to accept that, for now, I cannot promise to post regularly, even when I have a topic I feel I could write about endlessly.

I guess what I'm saying is, I'll see ya when I see ya, internet peeps. And although I still recommend you steer clear of Garrison Keillor-style poetic elocution, "Be well, do good work, and keep in touch." I'll be out here somewhere with Burns and The Steve Miller Band, Pink Floyd and Wordsworth vying for air time on my brain waves.

Service

2011-02-22T05:00:00.000-06:00

Yesterday being Presidents' Day, I took a little time to reflect on some of our nation's past leaders. Which presidents do you think of first and why? Is it their politics, their style, their scandals, or their service to our country which stand out? Unfortunately, I think the first three are more common these days.

Not many would find fault with George Washington, though I'm sure he had a few detractors in his day. Kennedy is easier to criticize. Having been elected during the dawning of the age of television, his affairs, both presidential and private, were more open to the public eye. Both had some noteworthy things to say regarding service, however.

"I have no other view than to promote the public good, and am unambitious of honors not founded in the approbation of my Country."
George Washington

This quote from Kennedy's inaugural address is likely more familiar:
"And so, my fellow Americans: ask not what your country can do for you - ask what you can do for your country."

I rather like the lines that follow as well. You can find the entire speech here.

Did you know that Washington and Kennedy are also the only two to refuse a presidential salary? Some might argue that Kennedy hardly needed it, but few who are able to campaign for and win the nation's highest office are lacking financially.

George Washington said, “As to pay, Sir, I beg leave to assure the Congress that as no pecuniary consideration could have tempted me to accept this arduous employment at the expense of my domestic ease and happiness, I do not wish to make any profit from it.” Washington fully recognized the difficulty of the job before him, and it was only love and service which persuaded him to undertake such a task, not fame or fortune or future book deals.

Why have we seen such a rise in politicians and a decline in true public servants? Why do so many seem to be in the business of governing our country for the purpose of lining their own pockets? Then again, can we expect any more of our elected officials than the people who elect them? Perhaps the problem does not lie in Washington or Hollywood or all the big name, big money places but in each of us from Smallville to Gotham.

Readers seeking to identify the...people and places here described would do better to inspect their own communities and search their own hearts, for this...is about a large part of America today.

Truly, there does seem to be an overall movement away from service. The word, the very idea, of service is despised and rejected. A college education is highly prized because it is the means of putting us or our children above tasks we have deemed menial and places us beyond serving. Some degree programs do prepare students for careers in service, but even among these, money, power, or status can be motivators. (God bless you, teachers. I think this is less often the case for you.)

We live in the age of me, of I, of self. Ayn Rand would be proud that her Anthem is so widely sung. Millions who have never read it have picked up the tune and adopted it as their own.

The individual is all important, and it has come at the expense of the family and the community. Why take the time to know our neighbors? They have their pursuits and we have ours. It's easier not to become too entangled in the affairs of others if we maintain a cold and (we convince ourselves) polite distance.

What has this way of living brought us? Our houses are full of material wealth and goods, but we are empty. Each new toy, each new experience, each status indicator, each accolade only leaves us feeling more desolate and dissatisfied. The top can never be reached because there will always be something beyond. Each rung we climb on the ladder only gives us further to fall. We are discontent in our prosperity, sullen in success. Setting out to secure the blessings of liberty for ourselves and our posterity, we did not understand what those blessings were, and we have sold our souls instead.

Once again we've fallen prey to pendulum thinking. Today public opinion sways in favor of the individual; tomorrow it may swing to the other side where the individual is obliterated. I want to bring that pendulum to rest and walk the narrow path in the middle. I want to go back to what some of our former leaders understood, that a leader must first be a servant. I want to live as Galtians 5 exhorts us: by love serve one another. If Jesus Christ took upon him the form of a servant, why should we be ashamed to live a life of service?

This week and in the weeks to come, I'd like to explore the concept of service on this little blog. I'll be posting videos, links, and other things that I find inspiring. I'll also be doing some private examination and challenging myself to find more ways to serve. Won't you join me? Maybe together we can start a trend. Please let me know if you find opportunities for service, write a post about it, or find links that will encourage others, and I will be sure to link to them.

Love cannot remain by itself -- it has no meaning.
Love has to be put into action, and that action is service.
Mother Teresa

2011-02-21T08:47:00.003-06:00

Hello there, Blogland! Long time no post. I've been busy here in the real world or, when not exactly busy, at least preoccupied with it. There is so much I would have or could have written about if I was able. I will not try to catch you up on all of it, but here are a few of the highlights. For some reason I feel this is necessary before moving on and hopefully beginning to post more regularly again.

Caleb came home for two weeks in January. The weather was dreary, limiting driving and other activities. I came down with the flu. Naomi sprained her ankle. It was still a good visit, though not the ideal I would have wished for. We did go to Na's last basketball game (where she sustained her injury), have a second Christmas, eat chicken fried steak at The Leon Cafe, take a little driving tour of southwest Butler County, and eat at The Latham Saloon. And we have good news. Caleb does not have to go back to Afghanistan. At least not yet. They could call him up for another tour, but for now he is in North Carolina.

The situation I spoke of in my last blog post has been resolved, and that person is gone. It's a long story--one I can't share here. What I can say about it is that I did just what I said I was going to do. I started praying, not just for the situation, but for that person. The first change I noticed was that I had peace no matter what was going on around me. It was easier for me to be pleasant and positive, which, I hope, made things better for everyone. Then came the solution. I did have to take some action which I was hesitant to take, but there were plenty of signs showing me that it was the right thing to do and the right time to do it. Now that it's all done, although there may be the occasional petty thought, I can honestly say that I hope that the outcome is the best for this person also. I wish her happiness.

There have been some challenging situations closer to home also. Parenting is not for the faint of heart. Sometimes it's a real shit storm, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. Perhaps the stressful situation at work and my decision to pray about it helped prepare me for these other things. I could have been absolutely devastated. Although nothing so very life-altering has occurred, it's funny how anything involving your children can feel that way. I've been upset, angry, or concerned, but through all of that, in each instance, I've felt at peace. Each time I have been reminded of a phrase from II Corinthians 12:9, "My grace is sufficient for thee," and I know that when I am weak, I am strong in him. I may not have the wisdom or the strength to deal with these challenges on my own, but God does, and I trust Him to guide me through each one. That is what keeps me going.

When Love Is More Than You Think You Can Manage

2011-01-11T12:00:00.000-06:00

Father, Father, Father help us
Send some guidance from above
Cause people got me got me questioning
Where is the love?

Where is the Love - The Black Eyed Peas

Yesterday was a rough day at work. Of course I can't explain the circumstances, but suffice it to say that there is an adult with whom I work whose methods and motives I do not like. One. Little. Bit. Right now, this person is the biggest challenge to that one little word I've decided I want to focus on.

There has never been a better time for a snow day than today, let me tell you. This would also be a good day to do some yoga. I have a lot of stress building up in my neck and upper back.

This person is not the greatest challenge I've faced in this category. Others have been much more difficult. There is neither time nor space, much less profit to listing my grievances with various evildoers from the past. Let us just say that I've been cheated
Been mistreated
and
I've been pushed down
I've been pushed 'round
furthermore
I've been made blue
I've been lied to
but fortunately not in the way which Linda Ronstadt was referencing. Who hasn't? We all have to deal with difficult people from time to time.

Mean people really suck, and they will probably always be around. But that's not my point in writing this post.

It is impossible to control other people's actions, but I can control my own. Instead of reacting to their nastiness and retaliating, I can decide to make sure my actions and my motivation are right. I'm human, and I do get angry. I may have to vent and rant and rave a little before I can get around to adjusting my attitude and doing what is right, but I will get there eventually.

As I was thinking about ~~what an enormous pain in the ass this person is~~ my difficulties with this person yesterday afternoon, I was reminded of some of those other situations in the past. All my anger and indignation never bothered any of those people one little bit. They were probably glad to see how their actions affected me. Sure, I had a right to my feelings, but that emotion did not improve the situation, and I did not like who I was becoming through it. I felt like anger and bitterness had taken root in my life and were rapidly obliterating all that was good. It was hard for me to enjoy anything in my life because I could not forget the wrong that had been done. My focus was off and I had no peace.

It doesn't matter what those situations were. Others have been through far worse, and my troubles would seem ridiculous in comparison. The principle is the same no matter what the problem. Never allow a person or situation to shift your focus and steal your peace.

During one of these situations, something happened that finally allowed me to begin letting go of the bitterness I was harboring. I was working on reading my way through the Bible in a year. (It is possible to be quite religious and still have your head up your ass--just in case you were wondering.) I came to a section in my daily reading, and it suddenly clicked for me that these were not just pretty words but something that I should perhaps be applying in my life--particularly in regard to this one situation

Matthew 5:44-48
But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;
That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.
For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same?
And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more [than others]? do not even the publicans so?
Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.

When I read this section from Matthew that morning, I felt like it was written specifically for me. Church folk would say I was convicted. That sounds like a criminal sentence or condemnation to me. I prefer to say I was encouraged and inspired to something better than what I had been living.

At first it was too much. I knew what it said. It was right there in black and white (or red if you've got that type of edition). But loving and blessing were just a bit much for me at that point. I decided to initiate the change by focusing on "pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you". I don't know if I can say that I trusted the rest would follow, but at the time it seemed like just praying was asking an awful lot.

Man, was that hard! I was like a petulant, little child. I did not want to pray for those people! I wanted to curse them instead! They didn't deserve my prayers. As soon as I thought that, I knew how utterly selfish and foolish it was, how much in denial of God's grace and mercy which none of us (no, not even I) have earned.

It took discipline, but I began to pray for those people. As I did, an amazing thing happened; I felt my burden lift. The tension that had been building between my shoulder blades began to ease, the ever-present headache disappeared, my heart felt lighter, the fog lifted, and I was able to be happy again. And I suppose that in praying for those people, although I didn't feel love for them, I was being loving and also blessing them. Did my prayers have any effect on the lives of these people? I may never know. One of these people does seem to have turned his life around a little. Whether or not my prayers helped him, I don't know. They sure helped me, though.

So, now I'm applying the same principle to this situation. I may still need to let off steam once in a while, but I will continue to pray both for this person and the situation in general.

Father, Father, Father help me
Send some guidance from above

I want to practice what I preach.

Show me how to love.

One Word Project Inspiration: Living of Love

2011-01-05T15:30:00.000-06:00

The first mention I heard of a one word project was on Facebook. My friend Kelli shared some of the words she was considering and this link (which is where The Shutter Sisters got the idea for their project). Other people volunteered words they would choose. As I read the comments this song began playing in my head, and it was the inspiration for the word I chose.

Living of Love - The Avett Brothers

I ~~hate live videos~~ love that the audience was fairly quiet for this song.

If anyone asks you what you're thinking of
where you're coming from
what you're living of
Say love, say for me love.

If you're looking for inspiration for your one word, may I recommend The Avett Brothers? Several of their songs could have given me a word I'd like to focus on for the year. Although I didn't choose them, they do continue to inspire me and help me think about the direction I'm headed with my life and how I want to live. I love music that is uplifting and inspiring!

One Word

2011-01-04T18:38:00.003-06:00

There has been a lot of buzz on blogs lately about resolutions and goals. Gee, it must be January. The first page in a fresh, new calendar tends to inspire many of us to make a fresh start, organize our lives, and get things done. With all the holiday hoopla, however, I find it hard to devote the time I'd like to putting things in order and making goals for the coming year. Most people think New Year's Eve is a time to celebrate. They look at you a little funny if you'd rather stay home in your pajamas and sort through the filing cabinet and make lists. I am so not a party girl.

Still, I am finding time here and there to slowly clear out the excess debris in my house, life, and mind and considering what I'd like to do in the coming year. My problem has never been a lack of ideas. It's settling on a manageable few and carrying them through to completion that proves difficult. Yet here I go again. I can make plans and move forward with them, or I can flounder about with no direction getting nothing done and feeling lost and frustrated.

One idea I've seen several of my blog buddies and Facebook friends talking about is something called a one word project. Not remembering if any of them had referenced a specific source, I googled it and found that The Shutter Sisters have one centered around photography. I think there may be other versions out there, but I'd rather just use the general idea and tailor it to my own needs instead of searching the Internet for someone else's rules.

The basic idea is to choose one word that you would like to concentrate on for the next year (or month or however long you choose), and work it in to your daily life. I love the simplicity of this idea. Sure, I will also set more specific goals for myself, but I can work this one general thought or word I want to focus on into those as well. One word, one concept, but it could have the potential to affect every area of your life. I also really like the idea of incorporating photography into the project. I think it will help me to focus on the word I've chosen as well as get back into photography, which is something I've let slip since I started my new job in November.

So, what will be my word for this year? There are so many areas in which I know I need work and words I could choose to go along with them: decide, discipline, focus, onward, forward, upward, move, do, be. (Are you noticing a trend here?) Direction and decision are so tricky for me.

I thought about all of these words, and I realized that any one of them at this point would be enough to overwhelm me. How should I decide what direction to go? Yes, I do believe in a little thing called prayer, and I do practice it, but I'm not sure God tells us every. little. thing. we should do. He gave us a brain and free will, by golly! Shouldn't we use both? Ahem. Anyway.

Then it hit me. No matter what I decide to do with my life--minute by minute or in the grand scheme of things--I want one thing to be my motivation for what I do. That one thing is my word for this year and for the rest of my life, for that matter.

LOVE

In the coming year, I will try to live this word with my every thought and action.

I won't succeed--at least not entirely.

Oh yes, I do have a temper. People are always surprised by this. Most of the time I'm very nice, but I'm telling you, don't cross me. I know I will slip. I'm certain I will cuss and give someone the finger for endangering me and my family by driving like an idiot. Someone in my family or circle of acquaintances is bound to irritate me. My husband will still get an earful occasionally when I get home from a difficult day of dealing with a certain person at work, but I will get it out of my system and remind myself that the reason I stay is because of that one word.

There will be moments when I am cranky and moody and downright unbearable, but I will change my mind. I will remember that love bears all things. Sometimes love lightens the load, and sometimes it makes it seem heavier, but it always makes it bearable because love gives us a reason to continue, to strive to be better than we are.

So, this year I will focus on this one word: LOVE. I will allow love to motivate and inspire me. I will work to make love the basis of my thoughts and actions. And when I screw up (when, not if!), I will lovingly remind myself what it is I'm living for.

Throughout the year this may be a recurring theme here on my blog as I work toward my goal. I'd like to explore the idea of love through reading, writing, photography, art, and music as a way to remind and further inspire myself. I may share some of that here. I hope it will inspire you as well.

Jambalaya

2011-01-02T10:33:00.004-06:00

Welcome to 2011! I hope everyone is poised and ready for a fresh start. I know I am. Part of my fresh start will be a better diet and exercise plan, but that won't begin until February since Caleb will be visiting soon and we'll be doing some of the holiday stuff all over again.

In our family, part of ringing in the New Year means New Year's Day dinner at my mom's house in Wichita. It's tradition to eat black eyed peas for good luck (or some such nonsense) on New Year's Day, but we decided most of us don't really care for black eyed peas and none of us believe in luck. Instead, my mom decided some years ago to make Shrimp Creole our traditional New Year's Day meal. However, in recent years, since Danny doesn't care for Shrimp Creole and Jordan doesn't like shrimp at all, I've started making jambalaya to serve along with mom's Shrimp Creole. Jambalaya is one of Danny's all-time favorite meals, and there are enough other meats in it that Jo can pick out the shrimp and still have a tasty dish to eat.

Yesterday, as I was making the jambalaya, it occurred to me what a perfect New Year's dish it is. Since it's a dish which is so easily adaptable to whatever ingredients you have on hand (with perhaps a few extra picked up from the store), it's a good way to clean out your fridge and combine your holiday leftovers into one meal. At least that's my theory. I know some people keep vegetable scraps or turkey carcasses for making stock later. Maybe I could freeze leftovers with making jambalaya in mind. Next year, I'm going to try it out to see how it works. This year I had plenty of celery, onion, carrots, and bell peppers left over. The tomato sauce, diced tomatoes, and chicken broth are pantry staples. If I'd planned ahead, I think I could have diced and frozen ham from Thanksgiving and used some leftover chicken and broth as well. The bacon, shrimp, and sausage would probably be the only extras to purchase.

Upon doing some quick Internet research, I found that there are actually several main types of jambalaya. Of course, within these types there are many different variations depending on traditions, personal preference, and what's on hand or available from the store. It seems my version is a combination between a red (or Creole) jambalaya and a white jambalaya.

A red jambalaya includes tomatoes whereas a Cajun or brown jambalaya does not. I've never tried it without tomatoes, but I may give that a shot next year.

A white jambalaya is made by cooking the rice separately and then mixing in the jambalaya or serving it over top of the rice as I do. Usually it's done to save time, but I do it this way because I once had disastrous results when I doubled the recipe for a large crowd.
But enough talk. How about a recipe and a few more blurry shots of the cooking process?

Jambalaya
6 slices bacon, diced
1 lb. boneless, skinless chicken breasts
1 large onion, chopped
2 chopped green, yellow, or red bell peppers
2 large carrots, diced
2 large celery stalks, sliced
5 cloves garlic, minced
2 (15-oz.) cans tomato sauce
1 (15-oz.)can diced tomatoes, undrained
1 (14-oz.) can chicken broth
1 lb. ham, cubed
1 lb. smoked or hot-link sausage, cut in 1/2 lengthwise and sliced
1 lb. deveined, peeled, and cooked shrimp
1-2 tsp. salt
2 tsp. thyme
1 tsp. chili powder
1/2 tsp. pepper
1/2 c. minced fresh parsley (optional)
Louisiana hot sauce, to taste

Fry bacon until crisp. Cut raw chicken into 1/2" cubes and add it to the bacon, cooking until no longer pink. Remove and set aside meat. Cook onions, peppers, carrots, celery, and garlic in hot bacon drippings until just tender. Add tomato sauce, diced tomatoes, broth, and spices; stir well. Add all meat and bring to a boil. Lower heat and simmer, covered, for 30 minutes. Stir in parsley and season to taste with hot sauce. Serve over white rice. Makes 8 to 10 servings.

Dicing all my vegetables very small is a habit I picked up dealing with kids and other picky eaters. Now that the kids are all older, I may try making the carrot and celery chunks larger, but I'm sure I'll always have to make the onions and peppers this size.

I always brown my sausage and ham before adding them to the pot. Squishy meat kind of freaks me out.

As for whether or not okra should be included in jambalaya, you'll have to figure that out on your own. I think the original recipe which I adapted mine from had okra, but Danny and the kids refuse to eat okra and I only like it fried, so it is not welcome in my jambalaya. I think gumbo, rather than jambalaya, normally has okra, but whether or not my recipe is correct according to tradition doesn't much matter to me as long as my family likes it.

Now that everyone is hungry and ready to try making their own jambalaya, here's some music to go along with your meal. Okay, so it's all one song. You may want to pick your favorite version or two and add some other songs for a more enjoyable eating/listening experience, but tell me, which is your favorite?

Hank Williams (original, 1952)

(A really young) Hank Jr.

John Fogerty (The Blue Ridge Rangers - 1973)

The Carpenters (1974)

There are no words. Well, there are words, but I've been trying to clean up my language a bit seeing as I'm currently working at an elementary school. How's this word? Abomination.

Emmylou Harris (1976)

Nitty Gritty Dirt Band

Harry Connick Jr.

Tab Benoit

(Doo, doo, doo...)

2010-12-29T14:00:00.000-06:00

Lookin' Out My Back Door

It's been another busy holiday season here at our prairie home. I'm both thankful to have had all the fun and merriment and time with family and relieved to be seeing all the busyness growing smaller in my rear view mirror. We aren't all the way through yet, but we're getting there. It's a good thing, too, because I'm not sure I have much gas left. I need to relax and refuel. Today I'm spending time taking care of business, setting goals for the coming year, and looking out my back door.

It's a grey, foggy day here. Usually that would leave me feeling a bit depressed. Today I feel the fog and quiet enveloping me like a warm, cozy comforter. It's a pajama day. No parties to attend, no need to cook or have things in perfect order, just a still and silent house and time to do whatever I want to do--even if it is absolutely nothing.

The Christmas decorations are still up and will be until after Caleb's visit in January. I don't mind. The tiny white lights glow softly in the darkened living room. On a day like today they brighten the house and add a little extra cheer and warmth in the gloom.

Their reflections dance like winter fireflies against the window glass.

Outside the trees and potted plants lie dead or dormant, but the winter birds stay fed on dried berries, insects buried deep beneath the bark, and the corn from the ~~super-sized bird feeder~~ deer feeder Danny received for his birthday earlier this month.

No one thinks much of sitting at the little table on the deck these days, and if they should entertain such a foolish notion (as I did a few weeks ago), they are soon brought to their senses by the icy feel of cold metal against their backside. In the summer it will be too hot and buggy. There's a very narrow window for pleasant deck sitting in Kansas.

Hammock season lasts a bit longer as it stays cooler beneath the trees and the extra hammock fabric can be drawn over top for bug-free napping. Shouldn't someone have taken it down at the end of the season, though? Oh. That someone would be me. Now you know why it's still hanging.
Whether the deer feeder has brought in more birds or we are just more aware of them I'm not sure. Danny asked me to print out a checklist of Kansas birds to keep near the back windows along with the binoculars and field guides. He saw a bald eagle while I was at work before the holiday break, but couldn't figure out how to work my camera in time. Even knowing how to use the camera, it's hard to catch the little (or big) buggers. The above blurry photo of a pileated woodpecker was taken through the glass.

These photos of a (I think northern flicker) are a little better, but still not as good or as close as I'd like. (The image below was cropped considerably.)

My friend Karen, who is a little older than me, says identifying wildflowers is okay, but she'll know she's really gotten old when she starts keeping a list of birds she's spotted. It's a pleasant pastime, though, and something to do while I'm avoiding the hustle and bustle and looking out my back door at the fog in front of me and the year passing behind me along with my 30s. Hello 2011. Hello 40. Hello grey hair at my temples, children grown, and, yes, even birdwatching. If this is the beginning of old age, it's not so bad. Besides, they are only shallow indicators. You're really only as old as you feel, and today I feel young enough and strong enough to conquer the world--and check a few birds off that list.

Musical Monday - A Haircut, a Real Job, and Secrets

2010-11-29T05:33:00.006-06:00

If you've wondered why (or even noticed that) I've been absent from the blogosphere lately, it's because I got a haircut and got a real job.

Well, not the haircut really, but I did get a job. It's also only realish for someone who's almost 40 since I make just a wee bit over minimum wage and work under 40 hours a week. Also, I have no big brother Bob.

The work is good and has rewards beyond the paycheck, but it has been an adjustment. I have to learn to organize my time all over again, and I've never been very good at that. I do miss blogging and all my internet friends, so I'm hoping to get back to it soon.

Besides the time constraints, it has also been hard to blog since my mind has been on my job and things relating to my work, but I can't really write about that due to confidentiality rules. I'm not really even supposed to discuss work at home. When I tried to explain this to my youngest daughter, she exclaimed, "What is it with you picking jobs you can't talk about?" Yes, like my census job (where I could be put in prison and/or fined for disclosing highly sensitive information widely available on the internet or the phone book) this new job is also very cloak and dagger. I could tell you, but I'd have to kill you. Or they'd have to axe me. Or something.

I love this song. When the kids were little and first heard it, they thought it was about a secret Asian man. It made me giggle and it still does, which is why I will always sing it that way. What would it mean to be a secret Asian man? Would that be someone of unknown Asian ancestry or, like, a ninja?

The new job is not, however, as a secret agent (or Asian) man (or woman). Although that would be exciting and I might get to do some of the traveling I've always wanted to do. I'd have to draw the line at killing people, though. That just ain't my style. I could tie them up and make them listen to me talk or watch me sing and dance along with the radio. That might be just as bad. Wait, that's kind of what I do on this blog. Hmmm...

So, to summarize, I have a new job. I did not have to get a haircut for said job. Although my new job does not entail being a secret agent/Asian, I am not supposed to talk about many of the details of the job, but maybe I will be able to figure out some more generalized things I can share about what I'm doing. Or maybe I will be able to get work out of my mind long enough to write about something else.

And I do need a haircut.

Around the World in 80s Music

2010-11-22T05:00:00.000-06:00

Ever since I was young I've had a huge desire to travel the world. Time and finances make such dreams difficult for most people, but I've found ways to feed my wanderlust without actually going anywhere at all. I still plan to someday make it to at least some of the places on my list, but in the meantime I read (books, magazines, blogs) about other places, sample the cuisines of other cultures, and listen to the music of other countries. Thinking about my little budget travel method recently reminded me of all the places I used to go in my mind as I was growing up, thanks to popular music.

Some of these songs have very little to do with the places they mention, but several of them (Land Down Under, Africa, and One Night in Bangkok) really fueled my imagination. Won't you take a little trip with me?

London Calling - The Clash

London Calling was first released in the U.K. on December 14, 1979, but it's U.S. release in January 1980 brings it, just barely, into this category.

Turning Japanese - The Vapors

Turning Japanese is the only song on this list that I don't actually recall hearing in the 80s. The first time I remember hearing this song was only a few years ago, although it was released in 1980.

Land Down Under - Men at Work

Land Down Under was released in 1981 and is one of my most vivid MTV memories. This song and The Man from Snowy River (1982) are probably responsible for my fascination with Australia.

Africa - Toto

This song is another that I remember vividly from the 80s, but I've been singing it wrong all these years. Did anyone else think it said "I miss the rains down in Africa" instead of "bless"? Africa reached #1 on the Billboard chart in 1982. Interestingly, it was both preceded and succeeded at by Land Down Under.

Rock the Casbah - The Clash

Rock the Casbah was originally released in 1982 but saw new interest during the Gulf War. It was on the list of songs deemed inappropriate to play on the radio for a while following the September 11th attacks.

China Girl - David Bowie

China Girl was written by David Bowie in 1977 and recorded by Bowie and Iggy Pop on a 1977 album, but the version I'm familiar with is the one Bowie recorded solo in 1983.

Mexican Radio - Wall of Voodoo

This is another song I'm not sure I heard until more recently, and I would never have thought of it without my brother's suggestion. It was recorded in 1983.

One Night in Bangkok - Murray Head

This song fascinated me when it came out in 1984. Bangkok was quickly added to my list of places to someday visit. I doubt I could have located it for you on a map, but I hoped it was as exciting as the song suggested.

Walk Like an Egyptian - The Bangles

Walk Like an Egyptian came out in 1986, but I remember it being popular throughout my high school years. The video is a little cheesy, though. I think I prefer this one combining The Bangles song with Michael Jackson's superior choreography.

Kokomo - The Beach Boys

Kokomo was released in 1988 and was part of the soundtrack for Cocktail, a movie I loved so much I went to see it three times at full price just before my senior year in high school. In fact, the character played by Elisabeth Shue is where we got the idea for our oldest daughter's name. A few years ago Cocktail was playing on TV and I sat down to watch. I couldn't believe how horrible it was! Its awfulness extended beyond the embarrassment other beloved 80s movies like The Breakfast Club and Dirty Dancing (which I think I saw ten times) bring. Now I can't imagine what I ever saw in this movie.

But back to the song. Kokomo is not a real island, although it is the name of a city in Indiana. (Indiana is not such an exotic place, but I've lived there, and I love it.) The song does refer to other real tropical locales such as Aruba, Jamaica, Bermuda, and The Bahamas, so it qualifies for this list. The song is a little too mellow for me this morning, however, and thoughts of Tom Cruise and Cocktail have left a bad taste in my mouth. I hate to end on this note, so if you're feeling the same, just scroll back up and listen to your favorite. Now, what was it?

I'd love to hear any suggestions you have for this category. There were a few more songs I thought of that didn't fall into the 80s time frame, so I may have to feature those another time. Have a happy Monday, and, just in case you don't hear from me before then, Happy Thanksgiving!

Musical Monday - South Pacific

2010-11-15T05:00:00.000-06:00

This past weekend our family attended the local high school's fall musical. We first attended--somewhat reluctantly, not really knowing any of the kids in the production--two years ago and were delighted with the students' performance of Fiddler on the Roof. For weeks afterward, we walked around the house singing the songs, aided by YouTube and lyrics searches. The next year we went for Little Shop of Horrors and were just as thrilled with that performance.

The quality of each production is incredible for a high school, particularly one with just around 300 students. We are only sorry we didn't start going to the musicals our first year here. Each year the auditorium is packed. It seems the whole community is there to support the students and enjoy an evening of cheap entertainment close to home.

This year's production of South Pacific was by far my favorite for one reason. It was the first year that one of our children participated. Since his freshman year, we have been trying to get Joshua to go out for the musical. He has such a good voice and is always entertaining us with his impersonations and impromptu comedy sketches. Away from home, however, he's a little shy. We could never convince him to try out, but this year his forensics teacher persuaded him to do it. He had two small speaking parts (Yeoman Quale and Radio Operator Bob McCaffrey) in addition to singing along with the other sailors for their numbers, but he did beautifully, and we couldn't be prouder.

Since the songs from South Pacific are still echoing in my ears today, I've pushed back the Musical Monday post I had planned to bring some of them to you. (Come back next Monday to travel "Around the World in 80s Music".) Although I'd never seen South Pacific before, I was surprised to find that I was familiar with several of the songs.

Some Enchanted Evening

I know I had heard this song before. It's a lovely song, and both of the leads sang it very well. The more memorable songs by far, however, were the more light-hearted tunes.

I'm Gonna Wash That Man Right Out of My Hair

The tune has long been familiar to me, but I first learned it with different words.

For the record, I'm keeping my grey--at least for now. I want to see how it turns out.

Honey Bun

This was another song I'd heard, although I'm not sure how or where. The kids did such a good job with it, too. One of our neighbors goes to church with the boy who played Luther Billis. During intermission she told me that he's a shy one, too, but you wouldn't have guessed it from his performance--and certainly not from this scene.

Bloody Mary

I had trouble finding this scene from the movie or Broadway production, so this clip is of another high school performance. The kids here did a pretty good job, but I do think ours was better. The girl who played Bloody Mary was one of the best parts of the play. I wish I had some video of the production, but we were given strict warnings against it for fear of the school being fined for copyright violations. There are tons of school videos on YouTube. I wish I hadn't been such a chicken.

There is Nothing Like a Dame

This was my absolute favorite number of the production. Josh did not get to sing the low part that Stew Pot sings, but one of his friends sang the high part in the song. They came home together one afternoon between school and practice singing it together, and Josh can nail those low notes. I've been begging him to let me video him singing the song with or without his friend so I can send it to Caleb (and maybe post it here). It's such a fun song, and all of the boys did a great job with it.

I hope these songs from South Pacific have given you something to whistle at work and have put a little spring in your step for this Monday. I'm sure I'll be singing them for some time to come.

Musical Monday - Music from Déjà Dead

2010-11-08T05:00:00.005-06:00

In yesterday's post I reviewed Déjà Dead by Kathy Reichs. As I read the book, I was delighted by the music that drifted through the main character's thoughts, and I tried to keep a list of all the songs that were mentioned. The way music and lyrics wove their way into the story and Tempe's thought process in the book doesn't seem in keeping with TV Tempe's character, but it is exactly the kind of thing that happens in my head. I loved it! Since the idea didn't come to me until a good way into the book, I'm not sure if I got them all, but I think you'll enjoy those I did manage to jot down.

I'll start the post with what I remember as the last song. It is beautiful in its own way, but not from my favorite genre of music. As a kid, I was taught to eat my vegetables or any other least favorite part of the meal first. This first selection is a little like vegetables (which I'm learning to like) for me. Think of it as your culture vitamin for the day.
Music of the Night

Danny has a second cousin on the Italian side who sang for years in the Broadway production of The Phantom of the Opera. I have never seen it, not even on video, but we did get to hear this cousin sing once in Danny's grandma's basement. That was a lot of voice for such a small space, and he said he was holding back. Opera isn't my favorite, but hearing him sing was an incredible experience. It almost moved me to tears. Perhaps it's something that is better appreciated live.

Did I get sidetracked? I'm sorry.

Summer in the City - Lovin' Spoonful

A classic.

Carolina in My Mind - James Taylor

This song is in my list of soothing songs/adult lullabies. I adore James Taylor.

In the book, the title of the next song isn't named. It's pretty clear that Tempe is thinking song lyrics, and "Busted flat in Baton Rouge" is printed in italics, perhaps with more of the lyrics, but this was all I jotted down. It seemed so familiar, but I couldn't quite place it right away. That line is, of course, the opening line to Me and Bobby McGee.

The version I imagine Tempe singing is the one most people think of, Janis Joplin's number one single from 1971. I remember hearing (though not too long ago) that this song was written by Kris Kristofferson, but I didn't know that it wasn't written for Janis Joplin or that the Bobby in the song was originally meant to be a girl. The first recorded version was done by Roger Miller in 1969, and it sounds quite different from Janis Joplin's.

Kris Kristofferson later sang Me and Bobby McGee on his 1970 debut album, after Kenny Rogers, Ramblin' Jack Elliott, and Gordon Lightfoot each recorded versions. Kristofferson's also has a country twang to it, and in the video below he even says, "If it sounds country, Man, that's what it is. It's a country song."

Me and Bobby McGee was recorded by two other artists before Janis Joplin's 1971 recording, but Joplin's is probably the most widely known version today. It has become known as one of her trademark songs.

Other artists have recorded their own versions of Me and Bobby McGee over the years, including Johnny Cash, Loretta Lynn, Waylon Jennings, The Grateful Dead, Olivia Newton-John, Melissa Etheridge, LeAnn Rimes, Anne Murray, Arlo Guthrie, Dolly Parton, and Pink. Although she's not the most recent singer to record it, I had already heard Pink's version before, and I think her voice is well-suited to the song. It's got a sort of Janis Joplin quality to it.

This isn't the video I'd seen previously, but I had to use it. "Baitin' Rouge?" Seriously? Sounds like something a hooker would wear. But I do like her Pink's voice.

Which of these songs is your favorite? Which version of Me and Bobby McGee do you prefer?

Book Review: Déjà Dead by Kathy Reichs

2010-11-07T05:00:00.000-06:00

This summer while out running errands, I happened to catch an NPR interview with forensic anthropologist and author Kathy Reichs. Coming in on the interview sometime after the initial introduction, I didn't realize at first who Reichs was or why I should be familiar with her name, but the interview was interesting enough to catch my attention, and I was delighted when I finally understood who was speaking.

Reichs is the producer of Bones and the author of the Temperance Brennan series upon which the show is based. NCIS, CSI, and Bones are three of the most watched shows in our house, and Bones is, without a doubt, the favorite. In fact, it may be our favorite even outside of the crime drama genre. However, I was not even aware that the TV series was based on a series of books. I quickly scrawled a note on a piece of scrap paper which eventually made it from the bottom of my purse to the pile on my desk and finally to my "to read" list on Shelfari.

Last month I read Reichs' first novel, Déjà Dead, about a series of killings in Montreal which are possibly the work of a serial killer. The writing style didn't quite flow the way I like, but that's often the case for the first book I read by an author. Sometimes I find an adjustment period is necessary. Getting to know a new author's work is like getting to know anyone; I have to give myself the chance to become acquainted and comfortable with their style, their personality, and their quirks. Although it was difficult for me to get into the book at first, it didn't take long before the plot sucked me in and had me ignoring housework (and blogging) to read just. one. more. chapter. Ultimately, I wasn't happy until the case was wrapped up and I had read the last page--and I had to seriously resist the urge to run right out to the library to check out the next book in the series.

If you're looking to find a book version of your favorite TV show, don't. The TV series is very loosely based on the books as far as I can tell. In the first book, there is no Booth, no Angela, no Hodgens or Sweets, and no "squints". Temperance Brennan is a forensic anthropologist, but she works for the province of Quebec and not the fictional Jeffersonian in Washington, D.C. In solving the murders, Dr. Brennan teams up with several police officers from different police departments (which were foreign and foggy to me) in Montreal. There is a hint of romantic tension, perhaps similar to what was present at the very beginning of the TV series. Even Brennan's character is different in the book than it is portrayed on television. The best thing for the reader (or viewer) to do is to lay aside any preconceived notions of what the characters should be like and just enjoy the story.

One advantage to the books over the TV series I found was that I was able to re-read the descriptions of scientific procedures, evidence, and reasoning until I could better understand it. My family tends to get annoyed when I want to constantly rewind while we're watching the show. The scientific detail is what draws me to shows like Bones and CSI, though, and I like learning while I'm being entertained. On the other hand, the TV shows have the advantage of giving a visual. If the book had not kept me turning pages so, I might have been tempted to re-read and google for visuals.

Overall, I found the book to be a very enjoyable read. I'd rate it 3 out of 5 stars, but I'm a tough grader. (Very few books rate 4 stars in my system. To score 5 stars, a book must go beyond a finely crafted story and good entertainment by relaying some deeper meaning and truth.) I will definitely be reading more books from this series in the future. Tomorrow I'll share another aspect of the book I enjoyed, the music that weaves through Tempe's thoughts as she unravels the mystery of these murders.

Just Call Me Libby

2010-11-02T05:00:00.001-05:00

Because today is Election Day, I'm sharing my politically inspired Halloween costume. I haven't dressed up for Halloween in years, but a conversation with one family member Sunday afternoon sparked the idea. Since we were heading to dinner with other family members where both costumes and political ~~ranting~~ conversation were very real possibilities, I figured I'd try to participate for once. Just call me Libby. Other people do.
Nothing says love like a homemade costume. They're fiscally responsible, too. There were more homemade campaign stickers and slogans on the front off my T-shirt and jeans, but they didn't photograph well. (Okay, so I didn't photograph well!)

Just in case you missed yesterday's post, I am not a Democrat. This wouldn't be much of a costume if I was. I could just as easily have dressed as a Republican since I'm not that either, but that wouldn't have been scary (or nearly so annoying and fun) for the crowd I was with.

Today the partisan labels will be replaced by a simple "I voted" sticker. Please see that you get yours, too. I'm totally wearing my tinsel garland boa to the polling place.

Fun Monday - So Not a Party Person

2010-11-01T08:15:00.005-05:00

After so long hearing almost nothing from me, today you get a two-fer. You can find Musical Monday below.

It's been a long time since I participated in Fun Monday, but Julie over at Another Chance Ranch has come up with an excellent topic for this Monday. It's a subject which has weighed heavily on my mind for the past few weeks: the upcoming election.

Julie says:
I try not to get too political on here. I've learned that you don't talk religion or politics with people. That is just my general rule. It's just not good. But, we are supposed to vote the very next day, and I am curious about something. I want to know your opinions. I want to know what you think about the state of our country. Or, is there a particular issue being voted on that you feel strongly about? What are your thoughts? Keep in mind, I don't want to know whether you are a Democrat or a Republican. I am just curious as to what is going through your mind.

I agree with Julie that politics is usually a subject to be avoided. People get emotional and irrational in discussing politics, often to the point of being very rude to those who don't agree with them. Now, I admit that I sometimes have a quick temper, but I try to always respect the right of others to have their own opinions, and I try to understand that those opinions may be very different from my own. I think I am typically capable of discussing things in a calm, reasonable manner.

Unfortunately, I find that many people are not. Their voices rise, their brows furrow, their mouths tighten, they begin to pace angrily, veins bulge in their foreheads, and they will say things that are both unkind and make very little sense. Suddenly I begin to feel attacked and move from civil discourse to one of three strategies: defensive, offensive (the ugliest), or evasive (my favorite). If I suddenly clam up and begin intently looking for things to clean, you've crossed the line. I'm no longer interested in what you have to say. The conversation is over for me, and you're headed into dangerous territory.

If you've attempted to talk party politics with me and think you recognize yourself in the above paragraph, you're probably right. And you are not the only one. I really don't give a fig what you heard on (insert media outlet here) highly-charged commentary disguised as "news".

Liberals need not gloat over that last sentence. If I meant just FOX "News", I would have said it. Journalism today, to an astonishing degree, is not the unbiased reporting of facts I was taught it should be. Instead, it often more closely resembles the yellow journalism rampant in New York at the turn of the last century. Yeah, we've come such a long way.

Julie said that she does not want to know whether we are Democrat or Republican. That's easy because I am neither. I am so not a party person, in any sense of the word. Frankly, I'm fed up with politicians in general and more specifically the members of the two major parties. I am registered as one of these, but only so I can vote in the primary. I would consider switching if I thought it was more important to vote in the opposite party's primary. My voting history leans more heavily to one party, but I have voted for at least one candidate from the other party, possibly more if you include local elections. Label me as one of these two at your own risk. I told you I can have a quick temper. I did vote for one major Independent candidate in two different elections. If labels must be applied I choose Independent and moderate. I've taken a handful of political tests and I always land just barely shy of center. I won't tell you which way because I'm not sure I agree, and it's really none of your business. So there.

See, talking politics puts me in a hostile mood.

How will I vote tomorrow? I don't yet know. You can bet I will vote, though. It is my right, privilege, and responsibility to vote. Part of today will be spent researching candidates. I've purposely avoided political ads because they tend to piss me off. They all lie anyway. We don't watch the news, so my information comes from NPR (National Pinko Radio according to some, leaning one direction but maintaining civil discourse to me) or what I can find on the Internet.

Someone suggested I vote a straight party ticket, a lesser of two evils approach. As always, I imagine my choices will be the lesser of the evils (and there are more than two in most major races here), but I think it is highly irresponsible to vote a straight party ticket unless you have researched all the candidates and just happen to have decided upon all from one party as the best choice. Voting is something which should not be taken so lightly. Don't tell me that a vote for a third party candidate is a vote for one of the major parties! That is only true so long as everyone believes it and votes accordingly. There's no chance of it changing unless each of us individually decides to stand up and vote for who we think is the best (or least worst) candidate rather than the most likely to win.

That said, what I've seen of the two third party candidates I've looked into so far is not very promising.

Enough of my ranting. I don't want to sound like (insert your least favorite political commentator here). Julie had a few more specific questions.

What do you think about the state of the country?
I am not happy with the state of the country. We have such tremendous freedom and prosperity in this country. Even in the middle of the current economic distress, our standard of living is so much higher than it is in many other parts of the world. The poor in this country have no idea what it is like to really be poor in comparison to the poor in other countries. Those who feel oppressed here have no concept of the oppression people in Afghanistan or Sudan or so many other places face. We are truly blessed. Instead of being thankful for what we have and carefully guarding our blessings, we squander them. We are running this nation into the ground on so many levels.

Fiscal responsibility is just one issue I am concerned about. No individual or small business would be allowed to behave the way our government or the large corporations do in regard to personal finances and general business practices. Why do we allow our government to spend what it doesn't have? Why do we allow the government to bail out large corporations which have behaved irresponsibly?

An issue that goes hand in hand with fiscal responsibility is the war in the Middle East. I have gone back and forth on whether we should be over there fighting a war we're not sure we can win. I am sympathetic to the plight of the average Afghan citizen. They have suffered so greatly, but I am not sure they want our brand of freedom, and I am not sure we should be pushing it on them. For centuries, world powers have fought to control Afghanistan. All have been unsuccessful. I think perhaps the problem is not the need for better weapons or fighting tactics. Maybe the answer lies in adjusting our overall goals and strategies for achieving them. If our goals are not something the Afghan people want, they won't stick. We'll be another in a long list of world powers that has failed in Afghanistan. Recently I read Three Cups of Tea by Greg Mortenson and David Oliver Relin. I think the approach presented in this book--using education, empowering women, enabling families to raise themselves out of poverty and ignorance--is more powerful than weapons and armies and much less costly in both dollars and lives.

Finally, I am concerned about the health care initiatives that have been passed. I am opposed to them because I don't think our government can afford them. I also am skeptical that lower middle class families like my own would be able to afford the mandatory insurance. Politicians have repeatedly shown that they are not in touch with what average citizens can afford. Health care should be more affordable, but I don't believe requiring people to have insurance or face a fine is constitutional. This is an issue I refuse to get upset or worry over, however. I trust in God, not government or insurance, or anything else. Our needs will be met with or without health care reform. In fact, I need to remember to apply that line of thinking to all of these issues with which I'm concerned.

Whew! I feel a little less tense already. Thanks for supplying that pressure valve, Julie! Now I'm ready to finish figuring out who I'll be voting for tomorrow. Head on over to Julie's blog to see the list of Fun Monday participants and read what issues are important to them. And whichever your political leanings, be sure to get out there and vote!

Musical Monday

2010-11-01T05:00:00.002-05:00

Two weeks ago beneath Kaytabug's guest post on grown-up lullabies, Muddywaters left a great comment with some of his own favorite lullabies. I love it when y'all leave your comments! You leave such great ideas, suggestions, and things to get me thinking. I especially love book, poetry, and music recommendations, and Muddywaters' are some of the best. I enjoyed his music selections so much, that I asked him if he would like to write a guest post, let me post his songs, or tell me to forget it and get lost. He's a nice guy, so he didn't choose the latter, and he even said I could post his list.

The First Day of My Life - Bright Eyes

Sadly Beautiful - The Replacements

What's the World Got in Store - Wilco

I Can See the Pines are Dancing - AA Bondy

Walk the Line - Johnny Cash

Thanks for the music, Muddywaters! Happy Monday, everyone!

Light and Dark, Love vs. Hate

2010-10-31T05:00:00.002-05:00

Friday night a friend posted on Facebook concerning the funeral of a young man from Wichita, a soldier killed last Saturday in Afghanistan. She was passing on a request for support for this soldier's family and friends during the funeral services to be held today. Evil had promised to show its ugly face in an attempt to mar this young man's honor and heighten his family's already unbearable grief and personal pain for the furtherance of their message of hatred--a message which, incidentally, is in direct opposition to the gospel which they purport to preach.
At first I considered going. It was a last minute notification, and it didn't really fit into my schedule, but my heart aches for this soldier's family. Burying a child is the worst imaginable nightmare for any parent. His family needs and deserves all the love and support they can get right now. As horrible as the actions of some may be, it restores my faith in humanity to see so many willing to provide support for families in this situation and be a barrier between them and the hatemongers. Although I wanted to, I decided I just couldn't be there to provide that type of support.

The truth is, I'm a coward. It's not that I'm afraid of hateful people, but I can't risk looking in the eyes of that soldier's family. I can't face that nightmare in public right now. But I'm also afraid to face the dark places of my own soul, the barbs that might wind, might already have wound, their way around my heart.The leader of this small group of protesters sparks something in me that few other people are capable of igniting. The more I hear about him, the hotter I feel the flames of hatred grow within me. I've heard comments fly out of my own mouth that don't sound like things I would say, and I've actually wished someone would kill him and shut him up for good. Many would agree with that and wish for the same, but that is not who I really am, who I want to be.

What is the correct response to hatred? A very natural response is to return it, but somehow I feel that in doing that I've given the victory to the hater--and to the true force behind him. I'll give you a hint, that force isn't the God he and his group claim to serve. Hatred, like a cancer, spreads. Once allowed to grow unchecked, it destroys more than its intended target. This group is a prime example of that. As despicable as their actions are, I find I need to carefully guard my own heart and refuse to let them infect me with their disease, even to the point of trying not to harbor hatred and evil thoughts against them.

And so, I decided it just wasn't best for me to go to that funeral. Instead, I passed the word and hoped there would be many others who would go. I stayed home with my family and thought about that young man's family and I prayed that they would be comforted, that they would be protected from hateful people, that, even in the midst of this darkest hour, light would shine through and warm them.

That's when I found calm in my own personal crisis. The solution was right in front of me. Instead of allowing the darkness to envelop and consume me, I needed to actively seek the light. As I did, I felt the fear and hatred that had been grasping at my heart melt away. They had no more power over me. The victory was mine.

Life is a lot like photography. Sometimes all that's needed is a shift in focus, a widening of the aperture to allow more light, an adjusted exposure time. Last night we took Danny's grandmother out to dinner as a thank you for watching over the kids and the house while we were in Ohio. She attends the same church as the soldier's family. The funeral was held at the church, and she attended with friends. It's one of the largest churches in Wichita, and it was packed all the way to the balcony. Outside, along the circle of flags surrounding the parking lot, stood members of a special guard. They didn't come in for the service, just stood outside providing a wall between the half dozen protesters and those attending the funeral. Grandma Fay put the number of the guard around a thousand. You wouldn't have been able to see the protesters at all except for catching a glimpse of them if approaching from the east, she said. Driving by the church after dinner I noticed, too, a sign put up by Scenic Landscapes, directly across from the church: God Bless Our Troops.

To my continued prayers for the soldier's family this morning, I'm adding a prayer of thanks for The guard and all the many people who stood with them in support. Light dispels darkness. Love conquers hate

*I have not included the names of the soldier in this post, the guard, or the group of protesters. The group in question does regular Internet searches for its name and the names of its members and get their kicks off of the press they get for their evil deeds. I won't give them that satisfaction. I've left the names of the soldier and the guard out of the post in case the protesters use those as search terms as well, but I've provided links if you'd like more information. (No, I'm not linking the haters!) Please leave these names out of any comments you may have. I will delete or edit comments which include them.

Musical Monday - Songs to Soothe

2010-10-25T05:00:00.001-05:00

After Kaytabug's guest post last week, I started thinking about what songs I might choose for my own grown-up lullabies. It was harder than I expected. My trouble is more often staying awake and motivated rather than falling asleep. Usually I prefer to listen to music that will perk me up. Kaytabug's pick of Tom Petty's Alright For Now would definitely be in my list, but all the busy week long as I racked my brain for more songs, I could only think of one. Yesterday I finally sat down and began searching YouTube videos in earnest. Suddenly I had more songs than I wanted to use in one post, but the very first song that came to mind is still the best fit for me. First, here are five other favorites.

Duncan - Paul Simon

Fix You - Coldplay

Blackbird - The Beatles

Yellow - Coldplay

Somewhere Over the Rainbow/What a Wonderful World - Israel Kamakawiwo'ole

There were so many more I could have included from The Beatles, James Taylor, John Denver, Joan Baez, Carole King, Judy Collins, Natalie Merchant, and even one Guns N' Roses. The majority were songs I remember from childhood, as was my first pick.

Perhaps that first song came to mind so easily because of a new TV show we watched recently.
Raising Hope - Trailer

I have mixed feelings about this show. On one hand, it's very funny. On the other, I don't particularly appreciate the way these poor, young parents are portrayed, having been in a similar situation myself. The first episode's saving grace was the lullaby scene toward the end. It's what convinced me to give the show a chance.

Kenny Loggins wrote Danny's Song in 1970 as a gift for his brother who had just become a father. My first memory of the song is from somewhere between 1979 and 1981. We lived in Meridian, Mississippi then, and our friend Jim would often sing and play this song on his guitar. It was one of his favorites.

The version I remember hearing most on the radio is Anne Murray's 1972 version.

Danny's Song - Anne Murray

I love the Anne Murray version, but the original sounds more like Jim.

Danny's Song - Loggins and Messina

As a kid, I could never remember the name of this song. Danny isn't anywhere in the lyrics because it's sung from his perspective, so there was no reason I would remember it. I think I always thought of it as the "Ain't Got Money" song.

As an adult who married at 18, had four children between the ages of 19 and 25, and has had plenty of experience with that whole "ain't got money" thing, I love this song even more than I did when I was a child. It is true to my life and perfect, right down to that name I could never remember then and could never forget now.

So in love - check
Chain of love - check
Tear of joy - check
Yep, everything's alright.

Musical Monday: Lullabies

2010-10-18T06:07:00.003-05:00

This week's Musical Monday is a guest post from Kaytabug. I'm still getting back into the swing of things after our most recent trip, so this arrived in my inbox just at the right time. Hopefully I'll be back tomorrow with a post I've been meaning to write for a while. In the meantime, sit back and enjoy these songs Kaytabug has selected, and have a happy Monday!

lullaby: a quiet, gentle song sung to send a child to sleep.

I'd like to share a few of my favorite grown-up lullabies, not your typical Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star or Brahm's Lullaby. These songs are gentle and soothing to me. Sure, they don't always send me to sleep like Dan Gibson's music does(like this), but they are personal.

My husband and I make soundtracks of our love. We both pick songs that convey how we feel. They started out as a mixed tape, have evolved over the years and are currently playlists on our ipods. We are working on our 10th. We average one a year, its like our year in music. His work takes him away from me, sometimes for months, sometimes up to a year at a time. We usually make one prior to the separation. Listening to it while apart helps us make it through.

Sometimes it makes me miss him more, but most of the time it makes me feel close to him and is a reminder of our love.

These 3 songs are from 3 different soundtracks of ours.

I picked these videos for the sound quality not for the imagery. Feel free to listen and close your eyes, you won't be missing anything!

I feel like Jenni asking this, what song soothes you? What is your grown-up lullaby?

Thanks for sharing your songs with us, Kaytabug! You and your dh are in my prayers as your countdown to his homecoming continues.

Blues City Cafe, Memphis

2010-10-05T08:05:00.006-05:00

Prior to our trip to Memphis, I did a little internet research on places we might want to go. Of course I included places we might want to eat in that search. I do love to eat, and I think food is an important key to understanding a place. The best way to find really great places to eat that impart the true cultural flavor of a locale is probably to ask people who live there, not Google. Knowing the limits of both my time and my (in)ability to initiate a conversation with just anyone off the street, I thought googling would at least give me some ideas, and I might be able to get more information once we arrived.

There were good reviews for many Memphis restaurants, but some catered more obviously to tourists and offered fare I could easily find at home. Reading over the menus on several restaurant websites gave me an idea of which spots might serve a mix of the familiar and more localized specialties. Blues City Cafe was one of two choices I found for lunch on Beale Street. The other was Miss Polly's Soul City Cafe.

The rest of our group chose Blues City Cafe. It was an excellent choice, but Miss Polly's is on my list to visit someday. Their menu offers a few intriguing items outside of my culinary experience. Although I lived in Mississippi for three years when I was a girl, I have never tried fried green tomatoes, and the only turnip greens I've ever had were served as part of school lunch. School cafeterias can ruin anything, and I'd like to see if turnip greens could actually be good. But back to Blues City.
From the outside Blues City Cafe looks like any typical diner that's been around awhile.

Except for the gatekeeper here. I'm not entirely sure what his function was. Although I assume it was wrangling up tables, it seemed we could have probably walked in and sat anywhere. He was an interesting character, though.

Inside it was still an average diner, a little rough in some spots, but that only added to the charm. I love their slogan, "Put some 'South' in your mouth."

Our waitress escorted us to the bar area in the back of the restaurant. It was a little tricky for taking pictures up against that big bright window, but I'm learning.
This one came out a little better, but Naomi's still a little annoyed that I "sneak attacked" her while she was watching whatever game was on the TV.

The adult table

Some people are more accommodating of my photo snapping habit than others. Our friend Mike had the fried chicken sandwich.

Danny ignored me while I was taking pictures of him eating, but later threatened that I'd better not post any of them. This is his seafood gumbo. There was a lot of rice on top, but plenty of good stuff underneath. I tried a taste and it was delicious. Danny says it was much better than any of the gumbo he's tried around home, but that's not too surprising. Kansas is the land of the Jell-O salad, in its many forms, not gumbo.

Denise had the moocher's special.

She ate off of Terry's plate of ribs.

I had the fried catfish sandwich. I've eaten a lot of fried catfish in my life, but I think this was the best I've ever had: tender, flaky, moist, not too greasy, and served on garlic bread. It was a little taste of heaven. The steak fries were excellent, too, not all dry on the inside like they are at so many places.

Everyone was satisfied with their meals, and the prices were very reasonable. I'd definitely recommend Blues City Cafe if you're planning a trip to Memphis.

Musical Monday - Elvis

2010-10-04T09:59:00.003-05:00

The wedding we attended a few weeks ago in Memphis was a double treat. Not only did we get to share in the moment with our friends, but the reception was filled with great music performed live by people the bride and groom know.

The gentleman who performed the ceremony had a double role as well. During the wedding he appeared as himself to officiate, but for the reception he changed outfits and identities. For over 14 years Lou Vuto has been performing as Elvis in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee, and he sang a selection of Elvis' songs for the reception. I've never been much of an Elvis fan, and I sure wouldn't pay the $30 to get into Graceland, but I thoroughly enjoyed Lou's performance.

For this week's Musical Monday, I'm posting a few of the photos I took at the reception along with three of the songs I could remember being performed.

I just loved how enthralled the little flower girls were with Elvis.

Can't Help Falling in Love

Hawaiian Wedding Song

Love Me Tender

I did a little digging around on YouTube in preparation for this post, and I found videos of a few of Lou's performances and interviews. I've gotta say that some of them are better than the live videos of Elvis that I found. (Some of the Elvis videos just made me sad. Did his fans not see what was going on there?) I've included one of the interviews below and a link (couldn't embed the video) to one of the songs which I think was also performed at the wedding.

1997 Interview with Charlie Hodge and Lou Vuto

Rags to Riches

10-1-10

2010-10-01T16:09:00.004-05:00

It's been a bit hectic around here lately. I've been fighting off a cold while trying to prepare for an upcoming trip and finish up the Friends of the Library cookbook. That's how things seem to be here most of the time, dead or dizzying and little in between. I'm managing, but something's got to give, and that is usually my blog. I can tweet now and then, check in on Facebook, or read a few posts elsewhere, but writing a post takes a little more time and focus, so it's the first to go.

There are posts in my mental filing cabinet just waiting to be written: more from Memphis, one about the Friends of the Library cookbook I'm helping put together, interior decorating projects, book reviews, and so many other things. I hope they don't get lost in there, but that's what often happens. I don't think I ever finished posting details and photos of our trip to California this May. Often, as I'm going through photos on my hard drive, I see picture that must have been taken specifically for a post. There is no other reason for the photo to exist, but the mental post never made its way out through my fingertips and is now lost forever. Yet I hold onto the photo just in case.

Today I will just leave a little update.

*I'm preparing for another trip, more clothes shopping drama included.

*The photography class is going well. I like the instructor, but he talks fast. Have I mentioned the disconnect between my brain and my hands? I'm fumbling a little less with all the buttons and dials, though.

*We finally bought new furniture for the family room. Now I need to add the finishing touches that will pull everything together.

*Na and I are taking a quick trip up to see Jo in Manhattan on Sunday. We're hoping to leave by 7:00 a.m. to make it to Bible fellowship with her at 10:30 a.m., hang out for a few hours, and then Na would like to make it home by 6:00 p.m. so she can go to youth group with a friend. I guess we will not be stopping to taking photos on the way!

*And finally this:
Just a little while ago I chatted with Caleb on Facebook. He said he earned his bloodstripes today. Bloodstipes are the red stripe that go down the leg of Marine NCO's and officer's dress blue uniform. That means he has been promoted to the rank of corporal. I'm very proud of him, but not so thrilled with the macho bullshit traditions of the Marine Corps like the one for receiving your bloodstripes.

Oh well, I suppose that's a typical mom reaction. Caleb seems to like all that macho bullshit. During the conversation he also said that he was chatting at the same time with someone who has to write an essay on Walt Whitman, and he's a little jealous of her. Now that's more the sort of thing I like to hear. This promotion is good news for him, though, and I'm happy to hear about it--and that he'd like to be doing something where he was required to read and write about Whitman. So, I sent him my favorite bit of verse from Whitman. I've posted it here before, and I'm sure I'll post it again. It never gets old, and the spider's lesson bears repeating.

A NOISELESS, patient spider,
I mark’d, where, on a little promontory, it stood, isolated;
Mark’d how, to explore the vacant, vast surrounding,
It launch’d forth filament, filament, filament, out of itself;
Ever unreeling them—ever tirelessly speeding them.

And you, O my Soul, where you stand,
Surrounded, surrounded, in measureless oceans of space,
Ceaselessly musing, venturing, throwing,—seeking the spheres, to connect them;
Till the bridge you will need, be form’d—till the ductile anchor hold;
Till the gossamer thread you fling, catch somewhere, O my Soul.

My Marine and His Magnificent Mustache

2010-09-28T09:11:00.003-05:00

Sunday was Caleb's 20th birthday. It's hard for me to get used to not being able to bake him a cake and celebrate it with him. Two years ago he was at boot camp in San Diego. Last year he was in North Carolina. This year he is even further away in Afghanistan.

I haven't written much about Caleb since his deployment in June. For one thing I don't know that many details about what he is doing, and for another I don't know how much I am supposed to say. The things I know certainly don't seem secret, and he doesn't talk about military stuff with me for the most part.

We have been able to stay in touch through Facebook. We chat on Facebook at least every few days. Even when I can't catch him online at the same time as me, I'm able to see when his last activity was, which is very reassuring. I can't imagine what it would have been like for mothers waiting to receive letters from their sons away in Vietnam. Delivery time and reliability would be even worse the further back in history you go. I'm thankful to live in the age of the internet and Facebook.

This morning I chatted with Caleb while he was uploading photos to an album--the first photos he's posted since being in Afghanistan. Inspired by Josh and Na's photos and a fake mustache he received in a care package from Jessica, he had a friend take the photos below. (There were a few of his friends wearing the mustache, too, but I won't post those since I don't have their permission.) Needless to say, they made my day.

I hope these photos made you smile. Do something goofy today and pass that smile on!

Musical Monday - Memphis Blues Edition

2010-09-27T10:09:00.000-05:00

During our visit to Memphis, we stopped by W.C. Handy Park* where we were treated to music from Fred Sanders and The Beale Street Blues Band. While editing these photos, I found the name of the band printed on the lead guitarist's hat, and googled it and found several videos of them playing in the same spot. I'm including a few here, but you can find more on YouTube.

Doggone Shame

Why I Sing the Blues

I can't remember all the songs we heard the band play that day in Memphis. We didn't stay for long, and I'm sure I wouldn't recognize most of the songs to name them since I'm not very familiar with blues music. The one song I do remember them playing is Mustang Sally.

Apart from this being one song I do know, the reason I remember it is because I remember being startled by the gentleman in the photo below.

We were listening to the music from the back of the park away from the stage, taking in the sights around us and out on the street, and chatting a little about what to do next when suddenly I heard someone holler out, "Ride, Sally, ride!" The voice startled me because it came from somewhere away from the stage. When I looked to see where it was coming from, my eyes settled on this man, but I didn't raise my camera in time to capture him joining in with the song. I'm glad I got a photo of him and the woman next to him anyway. They both have such great faces and were clearly enjoying the music, and I thought how I'd like to go sit up front on those benches for a while and just relax and listen with no cares about fitting all our sightseeing into a few short hours, to be on the inside instead of another tourist peeking in through the lens of her camera.

You can also find a CD review and link to buy Fred Sanders' most recent CD here.

*In the last post I called it Pepsi-Cola Pavilion which was printed on the entrance leading into the park.

Walking in Memphis, Part I

2010-09-25T15:30:00.000-05:00

Traveling is one of my favorite things. I don't get to do it often, and when I do, it is rarely in the style I'd prefer. I like to take it slowly and drink in the sights, sounds, and colors, whether in a city, small town, or out in the middle of nowhere. I want to feel the rhythm of a place, immerse myself in the culture and history, and meet some of the local characters. Fine hotels and fancy restaurants are not important. If I have a clean, safe place to sleep and good food to eat, I'm happy. If I'm able to, I prefer food that helps give me that sense of place I'm searching for, but I'm as thrilled to find a great little diner as I am to eat at a four star restaurant, maybe more so since I'm bound to save money and meet more interesting people.

Like I said, it rarely happens that way. Too many times I find myself staring out the window as everything flies past, but I try to absorb as much of that sort of experience as I can wherever I go. If we can't slow down, at least I can look harder and pay closer attention. We just had one day really to soak up Memphis. One day is not nearly enough, but it provided a tantalizing taste of what the city has to offer.

Beale Street was at the very top of our list of places to visit. If we were going to see the soul of the city in just a few short hours, this was where we needed to be. We weren't able to see it at night (add that to the bucket list), but we saw and heard enough to get a little bit of a feel for it.

One thing I love about cities is all the fun and colorful signs.

More about Tater Red's later.

Murals and graffiti too.

The Daisy was such a bright, colorful building, I had to snap a photo of it.

I wanted to know more about what was going on with the two buildings on the left, but...no time, no time!

A statue of W.C. Handy greeted us inside the Pepsi-Cola Pavilion. I must admit that I know very little about him beyond the mention of him in Walking in Memphis, but I took a photo of the statue to remind me to learn more once I got home.

I'll share photos of the band we heard playing at the pavilion in a later post, but there were a few other musicians that we were able to stop and listen to briefly along Beale Street. I paused in the doorway of a bar to hear the woman above sing. She hollered out, "Bring it on in, y'all!" The rest of our group had moved on, and I had to hustle to catch up, or I would gladly have sat for a few songs.

If we ever go again, I want to remember to bring some small bills to leave as tips for street musicians. People who bring joy and beauty into the world through their art, writing, or music deserve something for it, even if all I can give is a token of my appreciation. This is why I like the virtual tip jars some bloggers have. There's no obligation, but if something touches me, it makes me happy to be able to say "thank you" in this way.
The photo above is one of my favorites of the day. There were so many interesting people on Beale Street. I wish I'd had the time to meet and talk to them or at least observe them a little longer, but there were all these crazy characters below to keep up with.

I'm learning to adjust to different paces and preferences and just enjoy the people I'm with. Life isn't just about the experiences you squeeze into it. It's about sharing those experiences with people you love.

But sometimes I fantasize about traveling the way Muddywaters (the blogger, not the blues musician) did on his first visit to Memphis. What an awesome story!

Loving life, Life, and LIFE

2010-09-23T06:20:00.003-05:00

Hello. I am here again, home again. It's been a busy week for me, caught up in life, though mostly in the more joyful aspects of life.

Last Tuesday was busy with packing and cleaning for a trip to Memphis for the wedding of a dear friend. Wednesday I started a photography class and have since been practicing with all those buttons and dials on manual mode. We left for Memphis early Thursday morning, arrived at the hotel at 3:30 p.m., and immediately began looking for other wedding guests we knew would be staying there. Thursday evening a few of the early arrivals gathered for snacks at the bride and groom's home. Friday was spent exploring Beale Street and Mud Island with dinner at a local barbecue joint and an evening of catching up with so many friends in the hotel lobby and poolside. We were so thankful to be able to leave early and have an extra day with these people we love.

The wedding was on Saturday, and a more beautiful and well-planned ceremony I've never seen. Both the bride and groom are more mature in years, both widows having lost the spouses they raised families with at about the same time, both grandparents. I didn't expect our friend to marry again, but he found the perfect bride. I was deeply touched by how they recognized the fact, in their vows, that they had been married before to people they loved and who had died. They talk openly, too, in conversation about their first spouses rather than feeling they must now forget them or avoid mentioning their names in front of each other.

If that wasn't enough to send me searching for the tissue I'd stashed in my purse, seeing the groom's two sons standing up with him was. His youngest son is one of our oldest friends. We've known him since high school. He was the best man in our wedding 20 years ago. I noticed he (and all the groomsmen of course) wore the same color tie. Suddenly I saw these last 20 years flash through my mind, memories mixing with pride and gladness for this friend, standing up with his beloved father with such grace, happy to see him so happy on this day. I can't remember what was said or done, but just at the right moment, someone had thought to insert a little levity into the ceremony. Everyone laughed, the building emotion and tension was broken, and there was nothing left but joy for a new beginning, for love.

Saturday night we stayed up much too late again talking, knowing that the next morning everyone would be leaving early to head their separate ways, not wanting to say goodbye. I cherish these times with these friends and fellow believers. Each gathering is a little taste of that future Gathering, and makes me long for a time when there will be no more goodbyes.

Sunday was spent driving, Monday unpacking and doing laundry, Tuesday cleaning and a few hours with aunts and an uncle visiting from Texas, Wednesday going over notes and doing homework from photography class so I'd be prepared for class that evening. I haven't yet been to the grocery store. We've been scraping by on the remnants left in the fridge and pantry: fried egg sandwiches, bean and cheese burritos, broccoli and cheese baked potatoes. My family would like some real dinners soon, and snacks, please. This morning I'm headed to the store. This afternoon I work the gate for the middle school football game and then run to the gym to catch what's left of Naomi's volleyball game. Sometime soon I need to start my workout routine again. I haven't felt that I've had time to post anything here, but I can tell by the length of the comments I'm leaving on other blogs during my breaks for coffee, breakfast, and lunch that it's time to start posting again. Well, goodness, I guess I could have written a post after all. Three or four times at least.

Life and life. Right now I am loving both, but looking forward to a still greater LIFE which is eternal.

This morning I read this post at Mental Multivitamin which just seemed to flow with these thoughts and others I've had recently. Wonderful stuff, as always, from Melissa. Back when I wrote this post I thought about how I need to read Spoon River Anthology and Our Town again. (I always think of them together.) As is my habit, however, I quickly forgot. This is why I have my to-read list on Shelfari where I can't misplace it. I'm heading there now, grateful for the reminder.

The Second Most Dangerous Game

2010-09-14T05:00:00.001-05:00

Today I'm going to step way outside of my comfort zone to a) write a fashion related post and b) show photos of myself modeling the outfit I'm blogging about. And I use the term modeling very, very loosely. Cringing in front of the camera and saying "Get it over with already" through clenched teeth is more like it. If this sort of post isn't your thing, click away now. It may save us both some embarrassment.

If you're still reading, let me give a little more background. I hate shopping for clothes or shoes for myself. It is one of the most demoralizing and depressing things I can think of to do.

As every woman knows, women come in such a variety of shapes and sizes and have such a wide range of preferences. It would be very difficult for designers and manufacturers to produce clothing that every woman would be perfectly happy with. Instead, they focus on sizes and shapes they think are the most common. This means that clothing can be found to fit and flatter anyone built like a model but it often feels more like anyone except us. And any woman--probably even those models--will tell you that she has figure flaws or little imperfections she'd like to hide or at least de-emphasize. In addition, vanity sizing ensures that the female shopper's ego will be elated one moment, deflated the next, and continually kept in a state of confusion.

Factor in the price of clothing, the wider variety of options/requirements in fashion for women versus men, and the rate at which fashions change and that expensive outfit you just bought goes completely out of fashion, and you may begin to understand why I so loathe shopping for clothes. The exception to this is thrift store/garage sale shopping which is more like a hunt and from which I am able to emerge victorious in at least keeping my budget intact and with trophies to prove it. Of course, I often can't find anything to wear with that fantastic fifty cent blouse or perfect pair of pants I bought for just $2.00.

And so it is with a fair amount of trepidation that I greet any social occasion or change in season requiring something other than what I already have in my closet. I'm excited and honored to attend your wedding. I welcome each new season, especially autumn and spring. But I absolutely dread the personal shopping required.

If you've read this far, you're very patient, and I thank you. I feel much better getting all of that out of my system. Now for the event and the outfit that precipitated that outpouring.

A very dear friend of ours is getting married. There was never any question as to whether we would attend. Having recently bought a sport coat and several pairs of slacks as well as having a more formal suit and the fact that (once again) men's fashions do not change as drastically or often or require such a range of choices, Danny was all set. I, on the other hand, had to face the ~~music~~ mall. Gathering all the courage I could muster, I drove half a league, half a league, half a league onward, into the valley of Death; my budget was nowhere near $600.

Facing the jaws of Death and the mouth of Hell, there was only one reasonable thing to do. I prayed. No, really, I did. And you know what? It worked. I spent only about 2 hours shopping total, and found just the right outfit at a fantastic price. I think this may have been the easiest and most successful clothes shopping trip I've ever experienced.
Do not giggle at my dorky expression or mock my chubby knees! I told you I have legs like my dad. Notice instead how tall I am even though I'm slouching! I'm like 5'9" in these wedges! Even though I'm short, I almost never wear heels, but, surprisingly, even a klutz like me can walk in these shoes. For all my short and uncoordinated sisters out there, I highly recommend trying wedges.

Here's the rundown on how much I spent and where I found everything.

Body Central
Dress - $24.80
Necklace - $3.90
Bracelet - $3.90
Earrings - $3.90

Deb
Jacket - $12.99
Shoes - $10.00 (originally $25.99)

T.J. Maxx
Black half slip - $5.99

Hancock Fabrics
1 1/3 yards trim for straps - $1.21

All Sales Tax - $4.86
Total - $71.55

Not bad, eh? Not that I'm competitive or anything (usually just with myself), but if this were a bargain hunting contest, I totally have Danny beat. We're not going to talk about how much more Danny's suit or sport coat and slacks cost, although he likely will be able to wear them longer and more often.

Here it is without the jacket. I had to have a little jacket because I'm always cold and I also worried that it might be a little too skimpy for the occasion. The dress will have black spaghetti straps sewn on by the end of today to provide a little more security and reduce the unflattering effect the elastic has where it digs into my flabby pecs.

Overall, I'm very pleased with this outfit. It has Naomi's enthusiastic approval, and she is my little fashionista. In fact, she is already plotting when she might be able to steal these pieces from me and wear them herself. (She immediately appropriated the thick, cheesy looking belt that was made to go directly under the bust, and darn if she didn't find some ways to make it look good.) I know I will wear the shoes and jewelry with quite a few other things. There are a few things I may wear the jacket for, but I can see Naomi wearing it more. I'm seeing definite potential for wearing this dress beyond the occasion as well, and I am not much of a dress or skirt person.

What fantastic fashion finds have you had? Do you have any tips and strategies for getting in and out of the mall alive?

Musical Monday - Are You a Believer?

2010-09-13T09:42:00.002-05:00

My radio has not been tuned to a country station much in the past few months. I just can't handle it. Right now I need something more upbeat, or at least something that will not have me reaching constantly for the Kleenex. Oh, I know there are plenty of good, upbeat, even rockin' country songs, but they're played with so many sorrowful tunes or songs meant to evoke patriotism and other strong emotions interspersed that I just can't take it. It either depresses me or nauseates me right now. Neither is a feeling I like to experience, so I'm just staying away for a while.

However! An old friend posted the following song on Facebook and I listened to it for the first time this morning. Now, I do love Joe Nichols if for nothing else than his little tune about tequila and the things it makes some people do (and those gorgeous brown eyes, too), but this song was just the right thing for this morning.

Are you a believer? I think the world could use more believers, don't you?

Bitter Divisions

2010-09-11T07:34:00.002-05:00

I was going to include this song along with I Was a Teenage Anarchist a few weeks ago, but that post got long, and I decided to save it. It seems appropriate to share now.

Bitter Divisions - Against Me!

Transcendent fear in the 21st century.
Lost in psychic dire straights.
With our enemies decided and our battlefields celebrated,
"we walk with faith not sight".

How can we heal these bitter divisions?
How can we overcome our mutual distrust?
How can we heal these bitter divisions?
How can we reconcile our differences?

Mass hysteria in an age of delusion.
Intellectualism surrenders to ineptitude.
No love lost, no love gained, no common understanding.
Head strong and determined, self obsessed with calloused indifference.

How can we heal these bitter divisions?
How can we overcome our mutual distrust?
How can we heal these bitter divisions?
How can we reconcile our differences?

Also, Caron posted this quote on Twitter yesterday. Precisely. Thank you, Caron. Thank you Dr. King.
"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that." - Martin Luther King, Jr.

He Even Does His Own Stunts!

2010-09-08T05:00:00.002-05:00

That's right, not only is he a delicious morsel of mancake, Danny also does his own stunts.

Parkour/free running is all the rage now. Caleb says he spends a lot of his downtime working on it, and Josh is constantly at the park after school climbing walls and bouncing off of things. Danny's been itching to try it, so he and Josh spent a little time doing a little rural free running around our place over Labor Day weekend. Then they put this video together for Caleb.

Make sure you watch past the credits all the way to the end.

60th Birthday Party

2010-09-07T05:00:00.001-05:00

Yesterday I promised I'd show a few of the things that have kept me busy lately. Much of last week was spent getting ready for my father-in-law's 60th birthday party. We hosted the party, so there was deep cleaning and a lot of house projects we'd been putting off to be done in preparation. I resisted the urge to clean out my closet and desk drawers, so I must be learning to prioritize--or that I'm only human.

Danny has been working about 2 hours away on a job at Quivira National Wildlife Refuge. That meant leaving by 6 a.m. or earlier many days (and once at 3:45 a.m.!), coming home late, and still finding time to do things like reapply stain to much of the siding and the front door, repaint two of the doors, and replace the hardware on one of the doors. I think he earned an extra day off this weekend!

My other job for this party besides having the house clean was to make the cake. We had to plan for enough cake in case all 100 or so people showed, so the cake consisted of three two-layer tiers in 14", 10", and 6". I found several western wedding cake photos online for inspiration, and made the rest up as I went along.

This was only the second time I'd worked with rolled fondant, but it went pretty well for the most part. I was surprised that I was able to get that huge circle of fondant on the bottom layer on the first try and only a few wrinkles to hide. All the decorations were done in fondant as well.

For the belt buckle, I very carefully and thoroughly cleaned Terry's belt buckle on his favorite belt and used it as a stamp. I did the same with the smaller silver ovals. Then I used mahogany luster dust mixed with water and silver glaze to paint the pieces.

The stars were cut using a three-piece fondant cutter set from Wilton. The steer heads were cut using a small metal cookie cutter I found.

All my cake supplies were bought at Cake Stuff in the shopping center at the corner of Central and Tyler in Wichita. It's the only place to go around here for cake decorating supplies. The selection at Hobby Lobby and Michael's is nothing in comparison, and the folks at Cake Stuff are so knowledgeable and friendly.

It's been a while since I did any cake decorating, and I was so pleased that this went smoothly without all the stress I remember it being before. That could have something to do with the kids being older and in school instead of constantly in my kitchen while I was working. It takes two days to make a cake like this, and kids running in and out begging for a taste or just having to deal with anything else at all during that time can really be trying.
When I saw the picture I got most of my idea from, I thought the rope around the top two cakes would be the easiest part, but it was much harder than it looked. Rolling out fondant ropes that long, twisting them evenly, and not having them crack during the process or while transferring to the cake wasn't easy. You can see a lot of flaws in that rope if you look closely. (Please don't look closely!)

Making cakes level and getting decorations evenly spaced (even using a level and a tape measure) is always hard for me. I think my eyes must be crooked. Danny says he thinks this is the most level I've ever gotten a cake, though. You can see a bit of a slant, but I'm going to call it a victory.

Naomi wanted to help, so I asked her to make some cowboy boots with some of the leftover chocolate fondant. She's usually anxious about trying anything that requires any artistic ability, but she got into it and whipped these out pretty quickly. I was pretty impressed that she was able to do so well on her first try. I hope it will encourage her to try doing more things like this.

It was actually a lot of fun doing this cake, which is something I haven't always been able to say. Usually I am so stressed about getting it done and getting it just right that I enjoy the finished work but not the process. Now I feel more ready to tackle that 8th grade graduation cake I promised Naomi I'd make for her class. I just need to find some ideas, and this time I'm actually going to draw it all up and have a written plan. It always goes better when I do that, but I'm always forgetting that until I'm done with the cake.

My mother-in-law wrapped the tables with brown package paper which I thought worked really well with the western decor. At first I was worried that this party was going in too many different directions and that the only theme would be Sybil at 60, but she did a great job of pulling it all together. I think it had a casual elegance and just enough of a theme to provide cohesiveness without being hokey.

MIL used old bottles from the collection she inherited from her grandfather for the vases, rope for a runner, and the stars I used to decorate the three little alpine trees in our living room last Christmas. Simple, cheap, and perfect.

It seems during the party everyone was too busy to get many photos, but I found a few on my camera at the end of the day. I'll have to check Naomi's camera to see if she got any.
After the party, I got a few photos of my in-laws just before the sun went down. Don't ask me what my mother-in-law is doing in this photo. She was striking all sorts of poses. This is one of my favorites, though.

Happy 60th, Terry! I hope you didn't have to work too hard for your own party. (He mowed and did quite a bit more, I'm sure.) There's still plenty of cake left if you'd like some more.

Musical Monday - What Song Represents You?

2010-09-06T08:11:00.004-05:00

It's been a busy few weeks around here. I'll be posting more this week about what I've been doing, but today is Monday, and it's time for some music.

Josh is taking Forensics this year, and one of their first assignments is to find a song which they feel represents them, learn it, and recite (not sing) it for the class. Could homework be any more fun than that? Last week he was going over some of the lyrics of songs he thought might fit for him, and he asked which song I would choose. I'm still thinking about that. It's so hard to choose just one! And, like I said, I've been busy. I wasn't too busy, however, to ask the question on Facebook to see how some of my friends would answer. For this Musical Monday, I thought I'd share their songs with you. All of them happen to be songs I really like, too.

Closer to Fine - Indigo Girls (Melissa)

This is a favorite song of mine and an almost fit for representing me. I'm not sure the lyrics completely match with my beliefs, but it fits in that I think I am a seeker. Over time, some of those questions which were so urgent and whose answers seemed so unattainable have been answered. Other questions remain, but I'm learning to make peace with not knowing all the answers. It doesn't mean I've stopped searching for answers, I've just settled down more, the search has become less and less frantic, and when I'm at peace I find the answers come more easily.

Don't Stop Believing - Journey (Caron)

This song doesn't represent me in the least really, but it is one of my all-time favorites. It's definitely the best song for belting out in the kitchen or car. If I ever gathered the courage to do karaoke, this is probably the song I'd sing.

Against the Wind - Bob Seger & the Silver Bullet Band (Diane)

This song has been a favorite of mine since I was a little girl. My dad had the album, and I loved to listen to it over and over again. I can't say it represents me, at least not all of the time. I think everyone feels they're running against the wind once in a while, though. The key is to learn to enjoy the wind in your face instead of worrying about how it impedes your progress.

Bitch - Meredith Brooks (Kaytabug)

Okay what woman does this song not represent just a little? Aren't we all a little bit of everything all rolled into one?

While I identify quite a bit with Bitch, I prefer to think of myself and my changing nature a little differently, which is why I think perhaps this is the song that represents me best.
Unwritten - Natasha Bedingfield

There are so many different songs that represent pieces of me, and the list changes moment by moment, mood by mood. Unwritten best describes the way I view myself overall and my attitude toward life. I am unwritten. Each minute of each day I'm writing the story of my life. The ending may be unplanned, but I try to live my life with arms wide open, embracing each moment. I love the hope and optimism of this song, and it is hope that keeps me afloat even in my darkest hours. When the light of my soul grows dim, all I need to do is open the dirty window, let the sun shine in, and begin my book again.

And I totally dance like that--in the kitchen, in the car, in the elevator, but never with a choir or when anyone's looking. If you run in to me in an elevator and I turn 5 different shades of red, it's probably because I'm not certain you didn't catch me dancing when the doors opened.

How about you? What song would you choose to represent you?

Thanks to my Facebook friends who unwittingly contributed songs for this post. I loved seeing what songs you would choose and listening to them again. I'm sorry I couldn't include Emma's, but I couldn't find it anywhere. Her song was In a Day by Lir.

Musical Monday - Memoirs of a Teenage AnarchistTeenager

2010-08-30T07:11:00.005-05:00

I'm always looking for more great music, and I'll take suggestions from anywhere, including the comments sections of other blogs. On Friday I was skimming through the answers to a Friday Five post at The Women's Colony and saw that one person had commented that this is currently her favorite song.
I Was a Teenage Anarchist - Against Me!

Of course the title grabbed my attention, and I headed right over to YouTube to have a listen. It knocked me right out of my Tom Petty mood and now I can't stop singing this song. (I'm still digging the Petty, though!) It's very upbeat and I really like the lyrics.

I was a teenage anarchist, looking for a revolution.
I had the style, I had the ambition.
I read all the authors, I knew the right slogans.
There was no war but the class war.
I was ready to set the world on fire.
I was a teenage anarchist, looking for a revolution.

Do you remember when you were young and you wanted to set the world on fire?

I was a teenage anarchist, but the politics were too convenient.
In the depths of their humanity all I saw was bloodless ideology.
And with freedom as the doctrine, guess who was the new authority?
I was a teenage anarchist, but the politics were too convenient.

Do you remember when you were young and you wanted to set the world on fire?

I was a teenage anarchist, but then the scene got too rigid.
It was a mob mentality, they set their rifle sights on me.
Narrow visions of autonomy, you want me to surrender my identity.
I was a teenage anarchist, the revolution was a lie.

Do you remember when you were young and you wanted to set the world on fire?

I was a teenage anarchist.

I don't post full lyrics often, but after I shared this video on Facebook a discussion followed which required looking at the lyrics a little more carefully. Caleb said that he liked the song at first, but then it sounded like the guy had "buckled to the system". He also didn't understand why the guy was getting such a beating from the police in the video or why he would be smiling afterward.

First of all, I think it's important to note that music videos often have little or no meaning and sometimes do not even seem to have anything to do with the song at all. However, I don't believe this is one of those videos. Why is the kid being chased by the police in the first place? The video doesn't give us a clue. Why is such brutality necessary? Again, there are no clues given, and the impression is that the amount of force is excessive and inappropriate. The video seems to be purposefully vague on all of the details except that this kid has somehow rebelled against authority and he is enjoying it in spite of the consequences.

Let me ask you, do you remember when you were young and you wanted to set the world on fire? As for me, I was no teenage anarchist, but I was looking for a revolution. There were a lot of things wrong with the world (still are), and I wanted to change that (still do). Without any direction, though, all I could do was rage against the machine (which is another band--one I don't much care for), in my own way. Oh, it was a fairly quiet rage, but it was rage nonetheless.

Do you remember when you were young? Were you looking for a revolution? What things did you want to change? What did you do about it? Did it change things? Was it the change you expected?

No matter who is leading the revolution or promising the change, I've found that the politics are always too convenient. The doctrine of freedom offered by men usually comes with the condition of someone having the authority and power, and too often that authority is abused. The revolutionaries become the new establishment and forsake their original plans and ideals in their grab for power. You may recognize their rationalization that at least they are better than the other guy.

So, this is what happens to the teenage anarchist if he chooses to grow up. He surrenders to the mob mentality or he realizes their "narrow visions of autonomy" that his fellow anarchists and revolutionaries also want him to surrender his identity, only in different ways and for their own purposes. He realizes that the revolution was a lie. I'd say that's the opposite of buckling to the system, given the understanding that the cycle of revolution is part of the system.

So, that's why I like this song: deep thoughts, reminiscence of younger days, and a snappy tune. What more could you ask for?

Do you remember?

Mancake

2010-08-25T09:40:00.003-05:00

One of the blogs I read has a regular feature called Mancake. Now, I'm a little divided on my opinion of this. There's a part of me that says objectifying anyone is wrong. Women always say they don't like to be objectified by men, yet they are eager enough to be the ones doing the objectifying. Then there's the part of me that sees herself as someone with an artistic eye and the male form as some dang fine art. God sure knew what He was doing there. Should we not appreciate His handiwork?

Let us pause for a moment to think and appreciate.

Mostly, though, I think that done in the right spirit--without getting carried away into temptation and riding off on a big ol' sin wagon--this is just good clean fun. There's a fine line between admiration and lust, ladies and gentlemen.

For one thing, when evaluating said attributes, I almost always consider character--not those they play but those they seem to be when the cameras aren't rolling. You could be the most physically perfect man alive and not register on my scale of sex appeal if you don't have the personality to match. Character counts. This also helps appease my conscience on the whole matter of not objectifying men.

Furthermore, while I may be more than happy to occasionally give my two cents regarding the physical attributes of various celebrities, I wouldn't take a date (or anything else) with any of them if they begged me. (Oh there's a likely scenario.) Perhaps this is easy for me because I've already got everything I want. Sure, I may admire certain qualities in others, but that's as far as it goes. I'm never the slightest bit tempted to cross that line between admiration and lust because I'm well aware of what I have right here at home.

Here's where I go when I want a slice of mancake with my coffee.

Thoughtful and kind (And he likes cats!)Mmm...warm brown eyes. I'm a sucker for brown-eyed boys. And, my, does he know how to work a hammock!

Mischievous twinkle in those eyes, great sense of humor, fun

And he's not the least bit threatened by my admiration for Hugh Jackman.

If Jenni had a secret boyfriend, it would be Hugh Jackman. Totally.

You're quite nice to look at, Hugh, but frankly, you pale in comparison. Doesn't keep me from looking though.

Musical Monday - Where Music and Literature Meet

2010-08-23T07:00:00.000-05:00

Recently I read A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini as part of my effort to learn more about Afghanistan and better understand its culture. Although much of the story is heartbreaking, I think it is ultimately triumphant and hopeful, much more so than Hosseini's first book, The Kite Runner. I highly recommend this book to anyone hoping to gain insight into the recent history and culture of Afghanistan as well as to anyone who simply enjoys a good story well told.

A Thousand Splendid Suns begins as two individual stories of two women, Mariam and Laila, and eventually weaves their stories together as their lives begin to intertwine. Given the oppression of and brutality toward women that we know existed in Afghanistan especially under Taliban rule, I don't think it would be giving too much of the story away to say that some major events in the plot revolve around this theme. In such a climate, cruelty inflicted upon women by their husbands is not merely overlooked but seen as a man's right and even his duty as part of keeping his wife in line. After reading some of the horrible things characters in the book suffered, I couldn't help but think that maybe it would have been nice if part of the story had gone more like this song by The Dixie Chicks.

Goodbye Earl

No, domestic violence is not a laughing matter. No, I don't advocate this solution to the problem (unless it is a more clear-cut case of self defense). Sometimes, though, I wish life were this black and white. I wish the bad guys would get what they have coming and their victims could live happily ever after. And sometimes I have to laugh because I've cried enough. Goodbye Earl isn't a great song, but it's at least good for that.

Another excellent book I read this year was Olive Kitteridge by Elizabeth Strout. Written as a series of loosely related short stories strung together through the title character, the book reads almost like a novel. Although Olive is not the central character or even physically present in every story, all of the stories put together paint a portrait of an initially disagreeable character and her world. This portrait, seen through the shifting perspective of the stories and their principal players, gradually allows the reader to understand and even respect, if not entirely like, Olive.

My two favorite stories from Olive Kitteridge, which I think really illustrate the central themes of the book, were "Incoming Tide" and "Starving". "Incoming Tide" appears early in the book, and I was sold on the book from that point on. Through this story the reader begins to see Olive's unique insight into human nature and the unexpected role she is able to fill in the lives of her neighbors, family, and friends.

"Starving" is the story of an anorexic girl, an outsider not from the town, whose path crosses Olive's. For me, this was the story that took Olive's rough, seemingly impenetrable exterior and cracked it wide open allowing a look into this complex character's heart and the root of her blunt, boorish behavior. In her first meeting with Nina, Olive makes the following observation.

‘Olive finished the doughnut, wiped the sugar from her fingers, and said, “You’re starving.”
The girl didn’t move, only said, “Uh–duh.”
‘“I’m starving, too.” Olive said. The girl looked over at her. “I am,” Olive said. “Why do you think I eat every doughnut in sight?”
‘“You’re not starving,” Nina said with disgust.
‘“Sure I am we all are.”
‘“Wow,” Nine said, quietly. “Heavy.”

This is also the story that first made me think of this next song. Although it was this one story and its title that prompted the thought, the chorus pretty much sums up the main point I took away from the entire collection.

Everybodys got a hungry heart
Everybodys got a hungry heart
Lay down your money and you play your part
Everybodys got a hungry heart

It's a damned fine song, too.

Hungry Heart - Bruce Springsteen

These are just two songs I've thought of while reading this year. My brain likes to make these kinds of connections, whether they're obvious choices to anyone else or not. Songs, poems, books, blog posts, conversations: they all come together in my head, threads of so many different types and colors weaving one beautiful tapestry of life, illustrating this condition we know as humanity.

What songs make you think of books? What books make you think of songs?

Wordless Wednesday - How to Spend a Lazy Afternoon

2010-08-18T12:07:00.003-05:00

Life, Wild and Precious

2010-08-17T16:54:00.003-05:00

In a post on his blog today, Muddywaters included the poem "Lucinda Matlock." Now, Lucinda is my favorite from The Spoon River Anthology. The way she describes spending her holidays makes me feel Lucinda and I must surely be kindred spirits.

Rambled over the field where sang the larks,
And by Spoon River gathering many a shell,
And many a flower and medicinal weed--
Shouting to the wooded hills, singing to the green valleys.

I also love the last four lines of the poem which demonstrate Lucinda's attitude about life:

What is this I hear of sorrow and weariness,
Anger, discontent and drooping hopes?
Degenerate sons and daughters,
Life is too strong for you--
It takes life to love life.

Lucinda clearly loved life and found joy in family, work, and nature. That's how I feel most of the time. Even on my worst days when doubt and fear (and interminable waiting) come crashing in on me, I do love life. Better yet, I have a hope which is sure and steadfast (though my focus may not be) of something greater. While I am waiting, though, I am so very thankful for the larks and the shells, the flowers and weeds, the wooded hills and green valleys. When I take the time to see all these things I remember that, yes, I do love this life and I want to live it as fully as possible with gratitude in my heart.

Reading "Lucinda" reminded me what I wanted to post today. (I am always thinking of things to post and forgetting them five minutes later!) Actually, I've been meaning to post it for a while, but this morning--before I was distracted by my to-do list--I had the thought that today would be the day. I should thank Muddywaters again for bringing Mary Oliver to my attention a while back, which caused me to search for more of her poems and find this one. (I am also grateful to MFS of Mental Multivitamin for posting a link to this poem and unknowingly reminding me of it. I swear, if my head weren't firmly attached...)

The Summer Day

Who made the world?
Who made the swan, and the black bear?
Who made the grasshopper?
This grasshopper, I mean--
the one who has flung herself out of the grass,
the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,
who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down,
who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.
Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.
Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.

I don't know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?

~ Mary Oliver ~
(New and Selected Poems, Volume I)

When I first read this poem, I felt pressure. What am I going to do? I'm almost 40. Life is precious. Have I squandered too much time? I've spent most of my adult life raising kids. That isn't a waste of time, but shouldn't I have something else to show for the last 20 years? Now that the children are almost all grown, what will I do next? Just one wild and precious life to call my own. The clock is ticking.

That's not what this poem is about, though. It isn't about grand schemes and major accomplishments. There is a place for those things, yes, but life is made of moments. Not all of those moments should be spent pursuing promotions, seeking accolades, and crossing the big items off your bucket list. It's important to take the time to truly be in the moment and enjoy your life: to know how and when to be idle and then allow yourself that privilege, to be blessed and fully aware of your blessings, to stroll rather than speed walk/tailgate.

Let's allow ourselves to seize the day in a different way than that to which modern society has become accustomed. It can be helpful to fill the little moments in between with little tasks (reading a book, writing lists, or balancing your checkbook). That's good time management, but cramming each and every moment so full of stuff until we've forgotten how to love life and we're ready to explode from the stress is not. Don't be a slave to your cell phone or your planner. Like fire they are excellent servants but dangerous masters. See that little button on the side? That's the volume and there is even an off.

Doesn't everything die at last and too soon? Let's make the most of the time we have then. Live, love, laugh. Know when to work and when to be idle and how to enjoy them both.

What do I plan to do? Among other things, I plan to stroll and ramble, to kneel in the grass, to shout and sing among the hills and valleys. And I hope that someday, if I pass to a sweet repose, I will have lived enough.

I'd love to know, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?

Musical Monday - Summer Songs

2010-08-16T05:00:00.001-05:00

Driving around on errands lately I've been hearing snippets of some ongoing series on NPR about summer songs. Since I usually only catch part of what is probably only a 5-10 minute segment, I'm not sure what it's all about. The focus seems to be on the songs that are hot this summer in places other than the U.S.

Other than Katy Perry's California Girls (which I wish would just stop already), I'm not sure what songs are big in the U.S. this summer. Because I mostly listen to ~~the old people stations~~ good music. The NPR series got me thinking about songs I identify with summer, though. There are a number of songs from the 80s and beyond that are in my summer song list. Maybe I will share those next Monday, but today I'm reaching back a little further.

Summer in the City - Lovin' Spoonful

Summer Breeze - Seals and Crofts

In the Summertime - Mungo Jerry

Dancing in the Streets - Martha and the Vandellas

Of course there are many other songs I could have picked from the same era, but these are my favorites that specifically mention summer. You may have noticed that Summertime Blues, that summer classic adored by so many, is missing. I can't say why, but I can't stand any version of that song. What are your favorite songs about summer? Which summer songs do wish you never had to hear again?

Happy Monday! Spend the rest of the summer listening to only the songs that make you smile!

Wait on the Lord

2010-08-14T05:00:00.000-05:00

And while I'm stuck on the theme of waiting, here's the photo I'm having done up as a gallery wrap for my sister-in-law.

It was promised to her as her birthday present last October, so Jessica knows a bit about waiting. I had a lot of difficulty getting it where I was happy with it. The photo would look right on the monitor but then come out too washed out or too dark when I printed it. I think it's finally right, but the test print I ordered from mpix.com should arrive today, and then I'll know for sure whether it's okay to go ahead and order it on canvas. This year I'm giving only presents that are completely ready rather than present promises. It just takes me too long to get things done just right.

Remembering, Wondering, Waiting

2010-08-13T10:35:00.005-05:00

Recently I observed in a post that I think I have my dad's legs.Muddywaters commented that he wondered what personality traits my kids had inherited from my dad. That's a good question. Physical traits are easier to see, especially when what you have for comparison is old photographs and fading memories. The truth is, I'm not sure I remember enough about my dad and all the little things that made him who he was. Today would have been my dad's 65th birthday. You can read what I wrote on this day last year here. The feelings are much the same. I still don't know what to tell my kids about the grandfather they never met.
I remember that he loved me and I loved him. I know that I miss him. That's the important thing, sure, but I wish I could say I remembered more than I do. The rest of it grows fuzzier with time.

I try to hold onto the memories that I have of my dad. I've always had a very good visual memory of people, places, events from my past, but I've grown skeptical about the quality of those earliest memories of childhood. They are, after all, from the point of view of a child. That doesn't necessarily make them less true or real in their own sense, but I wonder if something is lost in their translation to my adult mind or if as a child I missed seeing key details that an adult would have picked up on.

Then, too, I think that there is much about my dad I never knew to begin with. The only relationship I had with him was as a child. From having children of my own who are all older now than I was when my dad died, I know that that relationship changes as children get older. Some things are lost, but there is also the potential for a deeper relationship to grow once you can have real, adult conversations with your children.

When my children were small, I shared my love of books with them, and they sat in rapt attention as I read aloud. As they got older, they were less interested in having me read to them. They developed their own tastes. Reading became something they did on their own, but where one part of our relationship ended another began as we started to discuss with each other what we were reading separately. The joy in sharing books with my children was multiplied as it grew into a give and take, a conversation, a two-way sharing of perspectives and opinions and a mutual love for the power of the written word.

One of the things I remember best about my dad is that he loved to read. Mysteries were among his favorites, and he introduced me to Sherlock Holmes at a young age. Years after I had devoured as many Agatha Christie novels as I could get my hands on, I learned that my dad had also enjoyed them. Jordan is also a fan of mysteries. My mom has often told me that Dracula was one of Dad's favorite books, and, although it is still on my list to read, it has become a favorite of Caleb's as well. Some of my very best memories of my dad revolve around our hikes in the woods when he would play Indians with us while reciting bits of Longfellow's Hiawatha.

My dad did his best to instill his love of reading in me, but he died before we were ever really able to discuss things on a deeper level and share that love. Sometimes when I am reading, particularly a poem or passage that shows a writer's respect for nature and love of the land like my dad had, I wonder if he ever read these same words and the emotions they would have evoked in him. How did my dad feel about Whitman or Thoreau, Steinbeck or Cather? (Steinbeck is both my mom's and Caleb's favorite author as well as my own.) I guess I will just have to wait to find out.

Behold, I shew you a mystery; We shall not all sleep, but we
shall all be changed,
In a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last
trump: for the trumpet shall sound, and the dead shall be raised incorruptible,
and we shall be changed.
For this corruptible must put on incorruption, and
this mortal [must] put on immortality.
So when this corruptible shall have
put on incorruption, and this mortal shall have put on immortality, then shall
be brought to pass the saying that is written, Death is swallowed up in victory.
I Corinthians 15:51-54

But I would not have you to be ignorant, brethren,
concerning them which are asleep, that ye sorrow not, even as others which have
no hope.
For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so them also
which sleep in Jesus will God bring with him.
For this we say unto you by
the word of the Lord, that we which are alive [and] remain unto the coming of
the Lord shall not prevent them which are asleep.
For the Lord himself shall
descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the
trump of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first:
Then we which are
alive [and] remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet
the Lord in the air: and so shall we ever be with the Lord.
Wherefore
comfort one another with these words.
I Thessalonians 4:13-18

While Waiting, Part II

2010-08-12T05:00:00.001-05:00

The other thing I did yesterday morning to help break up this cycle of waiting was start writing again--away from the blog. It's something I haven't done in a long time. Oh, I've thought about it, but I never actually started. Yesterday morning I wrote the first two pages of a novel, and by the time this posts to the blog, I'll have written some more.

If you know me in real life, do not ever mention this, particularly not in my presence. I don't want to talk about it. Not plot, not characters, not progress. (No, you are not in it.) Nada. It may never be published or even completed, it may not be worth the paper it's written on, but it's good exercise for the brain.

This is a huge thing for me to even attempt because I have never really felt I could write a novel. I have an enormous amount of respect for writers who are able to turn out great novels, and I believe strongly in the power of fiction. Truth may be stranger than fiction, but truth is often more easily distilled and presented in a way which we can understand through fiction. That's an intimidating thought when considering writing fiction. This story is an idea that has been kicking around in my head for a while, though, and it has been begging to get out on paper. Again, it is not important to me at this point whether or not I finish this or any eyes see it besides my own. The waiting may be inevitable, but while I am waiting I need to be doing something, exercising my creativity, stretching myself more.

As I said, I won't talk about this in real life, and I won't say much here either, but one of the things that has held me back from writing this story, ridiculous as it may seem, is that I couldn't think of a name for my main character. Without a name, she refused to fully take shape, but yesterday morning I woke singing a song and as soon as I began thinking about the story, I knew I had found my character's name.

Her name is Cecilia. The plot has nothing to do with the lyrics of the Simon and Garfunkel song except that one line jumped out and made me think again of this story. "Cecilia, you're breaking my heart." So far, my Cecilia is not a heart breaker (and this is not a romance novel!), but she is a lover of broken things. And that is all I have to say about that.

The other difficulty I had with starting to put this story on paper is the beginning. If waiting is the hardest part of life, I think beginning is the hardest part of writing. Once I get past the beginning, often the rest will just flow out of me--at least for a while. Ideas come to me in a tangled mess that I can't seem to make sense of until I find that first line.

The first line of a book is often so important for me as a reader. It's the hook that grabs you and pulls you into the world of the book. Thinking about how I feel about first lines as a reader can really psych me out when I start to write anything beyond the simplest blog post (and sometimes even that). I thought of some of my favorite novels, and one of the best hooks I could remember was this:

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a
good fortune must be in want of a wife.

Name that book! Eh, that was too easy, wasn't it? But...it troubled me that I couldn't remember the first sentence of my all-time favorite novel, nor was it quoted in the lists I found when I googled best opening lines. And no wonder.

The Salinas Valley is in Northern California.

Not a very promising beginning, is it? In fact, the first page may not be enough to draw most readers in, although I do adore the way Steinbeck paints a landscape with words. You can just tell he was someone who had a deep love for the land. (It's one of the things I admire about Cather as well.) As a hook, though, the entire first chapter, albeit brief, isn't much. Yet, I cannot imagine ever finding a novel I will love as much as East of Eden.

Well. That helped deflate a little of the pressure that first sentence was putting on me. Still, I needed some way to warm up before launching into the story. So I took some of those stray, jumbled ideas and word pictures that had been floating around in my head and jotted them down in the order I thought of them, and when I rearranged and tweaked each little scrap of a line, I had the rough draft of a poem. (There's another kind of writing I haven't done in a long while.) The poem became a catalyst, and before I knew it, the first line had formed in my brain, and my fingers were scribbling it out on the paper.

The point of this is not to say, "Ooh, look what I am doing!" or to offer my inexpert tips on how to write a story. It's simply to say that I have started something, and you can start something too. It isn't much of a start, but it is a step forward into action. And it was exhilarating. I can't wait to write more. I might as well...as long as I'm waiting.

While Waiting

2010-08-11T09:56:00.002-05:00

The other day I told you about the funk I've been working my way out of. Although I can't disclose the details of all the things that may have contributed to me wanting to do nothing but lie in a darkened room with the covers over my head until the Lord's return, I've decided that I can and will share what I'm able to, slowly, here and there, and not under a heading declaring that these are the depressing facts of Jenni's life. Really, I am quite aware of how very blessed I am and have no intention of wallowing in all the muck that occasionally mires me down. Since reading other people's accounts of their process often helps me and writing allows me to sort out my own thoughts, maybe there will be some value for someone else in what I write. If not, just consider it the babbling of a madwoman, and feel free to ignore it completely.

If you read my last post, you know that one of the things I've had trouble with is The Waiting. Whether waiting on specific things or a general sense of waiting in your own personal limbo hell, Tom Petty knew what he was talking about when he said waiting is the hardest part. It's the uncertainty involved in waiting that I think is most troubling. How long will I be waiting? What are the results going to be? What am I waiting for? These days I find myself waiting more and more often, both for specific things and in that awful state of limbo, waiting for what I'm not sure. From their comments, I see that Robinella and farmGirl know exactly what I'm talking about with that second type of waiting.

Often we have no control over how long we will have to wait for something and there is no guarantee that the results will be favorable when what we've been waiting for comes to pass. What we can control is how we will make use of our time while we are waiting, and I think this is important. Will we allow anxiety over waiting to eat us up, or will we find meaningful, positive action to fill our wait time?

Each day most of us find ourselves waiting for something. Waiting in line at the grocery store, the DMV, the bank, school, while driving in heavy traffic, or on hold with customer service, all these are little opportunities we have to practice patience while waiting. Unfortunately, many of us seem incapable of waiting gracefully and patiently for any amount of time as evidenced by the irritation displayed in checkout lines and the tailgating and other dangerous driving on our roads. In fact, it seems that even the shortest time spent waiting inspires many to new levels of rudeness, recklessness, and overall stupidity.

This everyday waiting at least is one kind that I have become pretty good at, however. To combat boredom and impatience and help me make a better use of the time spent waiting, I try to always have a book on hand. Even if I don't anticipate waiting, I try to keep a book with me because I never know when I will have a few spare moments to read. If I don't have a book or it is too noisy to concentrate on reading, I go through the receipts in my purse, check over my checkbook, or make shopping or to-do lists. Sometimes I brainstorm things to blog about or songs to use for Musical Monday posts. Sometimes I make interesting observations about the people in front of me who are getting all out of sorts over having to wait or practice smiling sweetly at that overworked clerk or the harried mother trying to calm her screaming child. Sometimes I pray. There is almost always something to do while waiting, and it usually makes the waiting easier.

In some instances, we may be able to make a decision to stop waiting and move forward, even if we aren't sure what we're moving toward. Today I've done that. I don't know where I'm going. Some of the directions I'm taking may be dead ends, but I am determined to enjoy the journey and learn something along the way. Oh, in many ways I am still waiting, but I've decided to take a few baby steps forward--or at least fill some of my wait time with some activity that will be productive, enriching, or both.

First, I have decided to take a photography class. I've had my camera for 2 years, and I still don't know what all the buttons do. Books provide little help for me when it comes to anything mechanical. I need hands-on instruction. "Here dial that up to there and press this when you want it to come out like that. No, this button, here." Class begins in September.

You will have to wait to hear the second step I've taken today. I'm still not sure I want to say, and this post is already getting to long.

Musical Monday - The Waiting

2010-08-09T06:45:00.004-05:00

Lately I've been a little low. Overwhelmed with thoughts trying to work their way out of my brain and onto paper (or monitor as is more common these days). Depressed about things I can't write about here and things I could write about that are crowded out by those other things.

I know what I need to do. I keep hearing it in the words of one of the coaches at the local high school. "Git yer mahnd raght!" Dang, I wish I had a video of Coach Ast saying that--or just Caleb doing his Coach Ast impression. But anyway. It's getting there. There's been vast improvement over the weekend. Maybe I'll write about that, but, honestly, it doesn't sound too promising. Or interesting.

One of the things that often helps me is music--so long as it's the right music. The wrong music can just pull me down deeper. It doesn't necessarily have to be upbeat or have lyrics that are entirely positive. If the lyrics hint at some of the same things I'm feeling, sometimes that's enough.
The Waiting

On Saturday I was cleaning the house while listening to the radio when this song came on. Although the verses put it in the context of a romantic relationship, it was the chorus that hit home for me. Waiting seems to be my life these days. And I have to agree, it is the hardest part.

Then, yesterday, I read this post. I think I've mentioned Expat here before. His writing so often strikes a chord with me and leaves me wondering how he could possibly write what I was thinking without my having said anything or how we could be thinking so similarly about entirely different circumstances. It isn't just Expat, either. If I read your blog, more likely than not it is because I've felt that way about something you wrote. This is what I love most about the internet, the ability to see and feel that bond which this human condition forges between us all connecting people from diverse walks of life, scattered all across the globe.

It was interesting also to see this clip about how Tom Petty came to write The Waiting. Sometimes even rock stars get stuck and spend some time waiting before that little bit of a tune stuck in their heads becomes a hit.

So, it was The Waiting that got me hooked on a Tom Petty theme for this Musical Monday, and I found that there were a handful of his other songs that fit pretty well for me right now.
Runnin' Down a Dream

The Waiting is always easier when you know what dream you're running down. The real challenge is when your working on a mystery, the vague outline of a dream you can't quite pin down. That's when you have to remember there ain't no easy way out, stand your ground, and say, "I Won't Back Down."

Once you've learned to stand your ground, it's time to move on to other skills, like
Learning to Fly

I've heard it said that landing is the hardest part of flying a plane. (Heh, not just coming down. Gravity will take care of that, but landing safely is another matter.) I don't know if that's true from the pilot's perspective, but being able to land safely, whether at the planned time and place or setting down in an emergency, is this passenger's biggest concern. Have I mentioned before that I prefer ground travel? Preferably with me at the wheel? I don't like that feeling of not being in control. It's also hard to maintain that sense of control if you don't know where you're heading.
Well some say life will beat you down
Break your heart, steal your crown
So I've started out, for God knows where
I guess I'll know when I get there.

A little shift in perspective can help with that.
Stories We Could Tell

So if you're on the road tracking down here every night
And you're singin' for a livin' 'neath the brightly colored lights
And if you ever wonder why you ride this carousel
You did it for the stories you could tell
And oh the stories we could tell

I bet you have some stories to tell, too. I know I do. Here's to running down your dreams, standing your ground, learning to fly, and all those stories you could tell. I hope it makes the waiting easier. Happy Monday!

Musical Monday - When Get Down, Get Up

2010-08-02T10:56:00.003-05:00

Lately I've been feeling a little overwhelmed. A little "Where did summer go?"(Although I know it's not gone yet.) A little "Where did my life go?" (Oh, I know that's not even close to gone yet!) A little "So much to do." A lot "When will I ever have time to do it?" Just overwhelmed. To the point of paralysis. Does that make sense? Does anyone else get this way? I need to shake it. Start doing. Start writing. That's what this Musical Monday is about.

It took a while for the song I want to share to register on my radar. A few months and my daughters playing it constantly and dancing in the kitchen along with the YouTube video, in fact. Now I wake up singing it and go to bed singing it. And I don't even know more than two lines of it. That's a tad annoying, but one thing I've noticed is that I can't keep myself from dancing when this song is playing.

I hope it never makes it to elevator music status because that could be embarrassing. I already get odd looks from other Walmart patrons when I start singing along to American Pie. It makes you feel pretty ridiculous to have the people of Walmart are looking at you like you're strange. Dancing is good exercise, though, and it's a good way to get yourself out of a slump or a state of overwhelmed paralysis.

Waka Waka (This Time for Africa) - Shakira

Okay, so there's no great meaning in the lyrics, but it's uplifting and it's got a good beat. So the "waka waka" thing makes me think of Pacman every time. So I never liked Pacman. So I dance more like Pacman than Shakira. So what! If it makes you happy and it gets you moving, turn it up and play it again until you've shaken yourself out of the funk you're in. Happy Monday, everyone! There's a lot of summer and a lot of life left to be enjoyed. Dance your way through it.

Musical Monday - Stalker Songs

2010-07-26T05:00:00.000-05:00

Besides temporary tattoos and mustaches, one of the things we like to entertain ourselves with music. Listening, singing along, and car dancing are fun, but we like to play little games with music, too. Perhaps it came about because of the blogging and Musical Mondays, but we've been compiling lists of songs as we drive. These are usually written on scraps of paper and lost before they ever make it to the blog, but one list we've been working on recently is stalker songs. It all started with this:

Every Breath You Take - The Police

This song came out in 1983, and even at the age of 12 I knew it was a stalker song.

We knew there were more songs that belonged in this category, but it was hard to think of them right off the bat. When we began brainstorming and scanning the radio for songs to add to this list, we stumbled across this one, also from the 80s.

Talking in Your Sleep - The Romantics

Which old lady did this lead singer steal his hairstyle from? Does it look to anyone else like he's wearing large button pearl earrings or is it just the way his hair falls over his ears leaving only a spot of earlobe exposed?
Whether the guy is actually stalking her or not is hard to say, but it's a little creepy that he's watching her while she's sleeping. Edward Cullen creepy. And I like the Twilight series, but come on, that's a little weird. I can't even stand to have someone watch me type!

Another song that quickly came to mind thanks to the fact that Danny and I grew up in the 80s and we listen to BOB FM was One Way or Another by Blondie.

Yes, women can be stalkers, too. Anyone ever see Fatal Attraction? Deborah Harry really knows how to make the lyrics sound extra ominous, too--like she's planning to pop your pet rabbit into a pot.

A more recent, though still old in the music world, song is The Calling's 2001 hit Wherever You Will Go.

Although the video makes you wonder whose perspective it's from, this song isn't quite so stalkerish. In fact, the creepiest thing about it is probably the lead singer's very sculpted and unbleached eyebrow. This is one song on the list I actually like. (Can you guess the other?) It seems to be more about undying love and being there if they ever decide to come back rather than about physically stalking an ex. I found quite a few songs that fit into this category, including, especially for the country fans:

My Love Will Follow You - Dierks Bentley

So many similar songs come to mind that I may have to make a separate post for them.

As I was searching You Tube for these videos, Jordan decided to listen to music on her laptop while seated at the table behind me. (Gah! Why do they do that?!?) Annoyed as I was, I thought I heard another song for my list when Invisible Man by Theory of a Dead Man came on.

At first it sounded to me like the invisible man was the stalker, but after examining the lyrics, it seems more like he's trying to get away from someone.

Below this video in my You Tube search results, however, was another Queen's The Invisible Man.

This song definitely fits the stalker profile, perhaps with a little creepy p*d*ph*l* twist thrown into the video. Don't get me wrong, I love that crazy Freddy Mercury, but I'd be concerned if he was lurking in my child's room. I don't care if you are just a lonely soul who never had any friends, Mister, that's the sort of thing that got M.J. into trouble.

After spotting Queen's The Invisible Man in the search results, I got an idea. Why not search You Tube using the term "stalker songs"? It worked. There were quite a few original songs and covers which would have been creepy even if the subject hadn't been stalkers, but there were also several compilations like the one I had planned for this post. This one in particular had a few good songs to add to the list. Among them was this familiar tune.

Hungry Eyes - Eric Carmen

Back in 1987 when my friends and I were paying full price to watch Dirty Dancing over and over again at the theater and practicing dance moves on weekends, it never occurred to me that this was a stalker song. (It also never occurred to me that we were ridiculous or that Dirty Dancing, 16 Candles, Pretty in Pink, and The Breakfast Club were not as deep and life altering as I thought they were, but that's another post.) Forget Johnny and Baby and just listen to the words, though. Yup, definitely a stalker song.

Another song I found in the previously linked You Tube compilation was Fly on the Wall by the ~~female stalkers~~Russian group known as t.A.T.u. (pronounced tattoo).

What did I tell you about Edward Cullen? This fan video was just too perfect for this week's theme.

Don't Wanna Let You Go by boy band Five was a new song to me and a new take on the stalker theme. Here we have a whole gang of stalkers, but it's a boy band so that reduces the scare factor exponentially.

The only thing that really scares me is that they are going to continue singing.

Of all the songs I listened to in preparing this post, the prizewinner is Alanis Morissette's Your House off the Jagged Little Pill album. Alanis carries stalker to the extreme in this song.

Wow. You Oughta Know from the same album is also quite stalkerish. Alanis, you are certifiably insane, but I love ya anyway.

I'd like to wrap this list up with an original song by a group of middle school students. I found it while searching "stalker songs", and it sounds like, well, a bunch of middle school students. It made me laugh--and cringe--but then I read the explanation with the video and found that these kids wrote the lyrics with their teacher as part of a song writing unit. It may be a little rough on the ears, but if it got these taught these kids something and got them to enjoy writing, I'm all for it.
Things Have Changed - Martinez Middle School Chorus

Ah, it's a different world today than the one I grew up in. Now there are estalkers. Way to stand your ground, kids. Don't put up with any of that. Please surf safely and don't post too much of your personal info either. But you knew that, right?

Mustache Mania

2010-07-25T08:30:00.002-05:00

About 7 hours into our recent road trip, Josh had an idea how he and Na could amuse themselves. (You can tell by his expression that he's already quite amused with himself.)They bent their heads together and set to work immediately.

"No peeking until we're done, Mom."

The first attempt:

Much giggling ensued. Soon, however, they discovered that they weren't getting many honks and hypothesized that their first sign was too limited. Mustaches (I think moustache must be the British spelling) are not as popular as they once were. The younger generation seems to associate them mostly with bikers, the villains of melodramas, and their idea of 70s p*rn stars. This is just what I've been told. I don't know what they would know of melodramas or p*rn stars, but it doesn't keep them from howling with laughter over their dad's "p*rn 'stache" (not to be confused with "stash"!) in our wedding photos.

Their second sign was a request to simply honk for mustaches--if you have one, if you want to see some, or if you are just wild about mustaches in general. This sign did get a better response, but I think most people were baffled by these strange children and their penchant for mustaches. Several truckers responded with their air horns and one big biker-looking dude with what this chart calls a horseshoe mustache drove past us twice and honked long and loud both times.

Although the response to their signs and mustaches wasn't as huge as they'd hoped, the mustaches continued to entertain them for the remaining hours of our drive. Josh discovered that his finger mustache also made a dandy eyebrow.

When we stopped at a hotel for the night, Josh was still contemplating what a little extra facial hair can do for a person.

At the restaurant, Na was distracted from the menu by wistful thoughts of what she might someday accomplish if she could somehow grow a mustache. She looks innocent enough, but I know her. She's mentally twirling her melodrama villain's mustache and plotting some dastardly deed.

The highpoint of the day came when they realized the waiter had seated them in front of this fabulous mustachioed mural.

Yeah, they're a bit goofy, but I'm thankful I have kids who can entertain themselves, love to laugh, and keep us (and the occasional truck driver) laughing.

Road Trippin' With Kansas Ink

2010-07-24T13:12:00.001-05:00

Last week I pulled a little blog trick on you. We were actually out of town from the 14th through the 20th. I had blog posts pre-written and ready to post automatically through Monday. We pulled in Tuesday evening in time for a little walk down to the river with Jo and Danny's parents who had stayed behind to take care of the animals and look after things.

Our out of town guests who were supposed to arrive just two days after us had to cancel. As much as we would have liked to have had them visit, it was a slight relief to me since it took two full days to catch up on the laundry, and I'm still not back into the swing of my routine. But at least my pantry is clean.

I haven't decided what I want to write about our trip on this blog, but I will give you a hint about it. We were about an hour from the city below.

Anyone recognize this skyline? I'm not sure if there are any skylines I could recognize--maybe Wichita's--and I'm curious if this is something other people can do. If you'd like to leave your guesses in the comments section, there won't be a prize, but I always find being right to be quite a reward.

The terrain was a little hillier than Kansas and included some small mountains. It was about a 13 hour drive. 13 hours is a very long time for two teenagers, particularly if one of them is over six feet tall and the car is a little Saturn Ion. We left very early Wednesday morning so that the kids would sleep for the first few hours. When he woke up, Josh spent some time drawing, but he soon became bored with traditional media and collaborated with Na on a project using different materials.
Whenever things get this quiet, I find it is prudent to look into what they're up to.

This time it was pretty harmless...

much better than the time Caleb got high off the large permanent artist's marker my brother used to draw tattoos on his bald head.

I think the result was quite attractive--and also completely washable.

Tomorrow I'll show you one of the other ways the kids amused themselves on our trip.

Musical Monday

2010-07-19T05:00:00.000-05:00

This morning I thought I'd share a list of songs I've had on hold for a while. At first glance the list may seem a little bit of a downer, but I don't see it that way. All of the songs deal with problems in the world either specifically at the time the songs were written, in general, or both, but I think they're all a little hopeful as well.

Most of the time I look around me and amazed at all the good I see, but I know there is plenty of bad, too. Sometimes I get a little overwhelmed by all of the evil in the world. That's when I know I've been listening to the news too much and it's time for a break. Finding solutions to problems begins with recognizing that they exist, though. All of these songs recognize the problems, but all of them carry with them the hope of something better.

Land of Confusion - Disturbed

Now this is the world we live in
And these are the hands we're given.
Use them and let's start trying
To make it a place worth fighting for.

Livin' On the Edge - Aerosmith

What's Up - 4 Non Blondes

Land of Confusion - Genesis
Although I already included the Disturbed version in this edition of Musical Monday, I still love the original, and the video (though not embeddable) is worth watching. Besides, there was a noticeable gap in the timeline here that this fits perfectly.

What's Going On - Marvin Gaye

You see, war is not the answer
For only love can conquer hate
You know we've got to find a way
To bring some lovin' here today
...
Oh, you know we've got to find a way
To bring some understanding here today

Happy Monday, everyone! While we're living on the edge in this land of confusion, let's not forget
to pray
to try
to question (and sometimes cry)
to use our hands to make it a place worth fighting for
to keep hanging on
and
to bring some love and understanding here today.

Bunch of Beatniks

2010-07-18T06:00:00.000-05:00

My OCD Pantry

2010-07-17T06:00:00.002-05:00

Recently we got word that friends would be visiting us soon. We've looked forward to a visit from them for a while and can't wait to have them in our home, but I always have the same reaction to the news that company is coming. I go into hyper cleaning mode.

I feel compelled to clean places no one will ever look like my closet and bathroom cabinets, the utility room and the attic. The spot that always receives attention first, however, is my kitchen cabinets and pantry. Everything must come out. The cabinets and shelves must be cleaned inside and out. The china, wine glasses, and other rarely used items must be washed and polished to remove any water spots. The dust, grease, cobwebs, and copious amounts of insect carcasses must be cleaned from space above the cabinets. (Why do bugs go to the top of my kitchen cabinets to die? I clean up there at least twice a year, and there are always piles and piles of little insect bodies up there.) Once everything is thoroughly cleaned, I consider how to reorganize it.

All of this while thick layers of dust rest on the coffee table, the bathrooms need to be scrubbed, and there are muddy footprints on the wood floor. The nooks and crannies no one will see must be cleaned first at the risk of not getting the more obvious stuff done. I've tried, but I can't reverse the order. It makes me extremely anxious to try, though I'm not sure how that matters since the anxiety is there anyway. I just know I won't able to relax and enjoy having guests without having these things done first. God forbid someone discover I have dusty china that I never use.

The feeling when I'm all finished is wonderful, though. And doesn't my pantry look pretty even with the door open (which it always is)?

Even the spots you can't see from outside the pantry are nice and tidy...

if a bit hard to photograph.

Those are not really ancient Girl Scout cookies in the box on the top shelf. They're candy molds. Once upon a time I used all these things pretty frequently. Then my kids stopped wanting fancy birthday cakes. Now I just dust most of these pans occasionally and wait for someone to want a wedding or anniversary cake.

I can't tell you how much it bothers me that the angel food pan doesn't fit anywhere in the cake pan rack or on the shelf above. I'm going to have to work on that. There is room for the cooler now, however, which is really nice since I was tired of seeing it land on the hearth.
I even took the time to string a ristra to hang on the outside of the pantry, something I've wanted to do ever since we came up with our pantry design. I'm not sure I've hung it in the right spot, though, so please advise.

Just a little more insight into my brand of crazy for you this morning. Now to get those bathrooms cleaned!

2010-07-16T06:00:00.000-05:00

When I get a call (as described in yesterday's post) that there's something I should be taking pictures of, I usually have one of two reactions. 1) I decide I don't feel like moving. 2) I grab my camera from the bar and run right outside exactly as I am, pausing only to slip on my mud boots just outside the front door. If I'm actually going to move, I don't want it to be a wasted effort because I moved too slowly or took too long getting ready.

Clouds sometimes move pretty quickly across the prairie. Once the sun begins to set, it swiftly sinks into the horizon, leaving less and less light to capture interesting silhouettes, and what light there is can be tricky.

So, when I hear that there is a particularly gorgeous sunset happening along with some interesting clouds, I run right out to the road with my camera, and subject myself to odd looks from passing traffic.

Sunset seems to be an especially busy time along our little dirt road with people coming home from jobs in the city, finishing up work in the fields or feed lot, or driving over to the diner town to eat and catch up on what passes for the local news. Then there is the road grader who seems to be out on our road quite often when I'm taking pictures. If I had the job of grading the roads, I would work it so that I always had a road with a good sunset view to do toward the end of the day. And our road does indeed have a good one.
I love being out on our road taking pictures at sunset--even if the neighbors think I'm crazy. I used to think it was just the fact that I was out stomping through roadside ditches (and occasionally lying in them) with my camera that made people stare. Then I got a look at myself as I came in from taking pictures this last time.I was wearing pajama pants with my mud boots, and they were full of hitchhikers. I'd slipped one of Danny's old sweatshirts over my pajama top because it was faster than putting on a bra. My hair was disheveled and frizzy. I looked like I'd rolled out of bed and directly into a sticker patch. Maybe I could spare a few minutes to get dressed and run a brush through my hair after all. Or wait a little longer to The neighbors probably aren't nearly so intrigued by what I'm photographing as they are by the crazy woman roaming country roads in her pajamas.

2010-07-15T05:15:00.003-05:00

Last week I was sitting at my desk doing something terribly important like reading blogs or playing Lexulous on Facebook when I was interrupted by a call from my father in law. I was tempted to not answer. That's nothing against my father in law necessarily. I just really, really hate talking on the telephone.

Besides, the call coming from him could mean he wanted me to do something. You know, like get out of my chair and tell Danny or the kids something or turn on a hose or look up the weather report on noaa.org or com or gov or edu and not weather.com for which I can always remember the suffix. You know, difficult stuff. Or he might want to explain in detail how to trim hooves or the percentage of protein in different types of grasses or grains or how to finish concrete, or, God forbid, something to do with sports. Important things, surely, but I prefer to stay on a need to know basis with some of that stuff. All these things ran through my lazy brain as I pondered whether or not to pickup that phone.

Eventually I did answer. And you know what? He just wanted to tell me that the sunset was especially nice that night, and I might want to grab my camera and get out there. He was right. How cool is it that I have a father in law who calls to tell me about pretty sunsets and other photo opportunities? It was a gorgeous sunset. Worth getting off my butt for, even.

A few nights later I was sitting at my desk after a long day of errands in town when my mother in law called. Again I faced the dilemma. To answer or not to answer. Slings and arrows might be better than being forced to speak on the phone. I weighed my options carefully, decided I wanted to live another day, and picked up the phone. Cool cloud formations near the arena. Might want to take some photos. That's all. ~~Lazy~~Tired won out that night, though. Still, it's pretty awesome that she would think to call me and tell me. Ya know what? Those in-laws aren't so bad. And their son's pretty okay too.

Brick's, Ark City

2010-07-14T06:50:00.000-05:00

During our crazy busy month of June, we spent every Friday through Sunday going to Naomi's Mid American Youth Basketball tournaments. The girls played teams from Kansas, Oklahoma, Missouri, Colorado, and possibly a few other states. Some of the teams practice year round and go to many more tournaments, but I'm thankful that it just took up the month of June for us. It was exhausting, especially for someone who is not a sports fan. (I'm told that it is antisocial to bring a book to read between games and unrealistic to expect people to keep the noise level down so I can concentrate on what I'm reading. Well, silly me!) I'm also thankful that all of the tournaments in which we participated were close to home. They were all just 30 to 45 minutes away.

The second to last tournament was held in Arkansas City. That's Ark City to folks 'round these parts, and boy am I glad. After living in Kansas for almost 20 years, the word Arkansas now sounds wrong to me no matter how it's pronounced. (Ar-kan-saw for the state, Ar-kan-zes for any place name within Kansas--and people are serious about this pronunciation thing.) Ark City is just so much easier to say.

Ark City and nearby Winfield boast populations of around 12,000 people each--too large for me to want to live there, but just the right size to visit for your weekly shopping or when you need a taste of "city" life. Not that Ark City is where I go for my regular shopping--there are slightly closer options with more to offer--but I do prefer the pace there to Wichita or even Andover or Derby.

Ark City is just over the state line from Oklahoma and was a gathering place for settlers waiting to participate in the Cherokee Strip Land Run which took place a few years after the first Oklahoma Land Rush. There is a sense of history, a living timeline, present in the buildings of the downtown area. Visiting towns that hit their heyday any time before 1950 and are still holding on, if not exactly keeping up with the current trends in architecture, really appeals to me. I love that frozen in time feel of a town where the buildings have character instead of cold steel and glass.

Brick's in Ark City is just such a place, full of the charm and character of a bygone era.

This photo was taken last month, but it just looks right with the colorized action from Pioneer Woman's actions set.
There were plenty of fast food and other options available in Ark City, but I knew I had to try Brick's as soon as I saw it.

How could I not? Saying no to a building like this and a restaurant is just not something I do if I have the time and money and need to eat anyway.

We arrived in time for a late lunch when there wasn't too much of a crowd. Danny and Naomi rushed to get inside so as not to be identified with the crazy woman taking photos of every angle of the building.

We came in the side/back entrance and this extra dining room was on our right. No one was seated here, and I think it must be for overflow seating or available to book for private parties.

Brick's was originally the E.L. McDowell jewelry store. I don't know when the jewelry store first opened or how long it was in business, but there is an item in the Arkansas City Traveler from April 28, 1886 advertising that the store specializes in spectacles. The old vault is now a hallway leading from the main dining room to the gift shop next door.

This beautifully decorated safe sits in the vault hallway.

There were other diners in the main room, so I was a little shy of taking photos in there. My family acting like I'm crazy only makes this worse. You can see into the dining room a little bit through the door of the gift shop, though.

The gift shop has the original tin ceilings and pretty oak woodwork as well as lots of goodies to buy. Danny was fascinated with this matryoshka doll he found.

He was amazed as doll after doll continued to open up and reveal a smaller doll yet underneath.

I should have gotten a better picture here, but if you look closely, you can see the top half of the ninth and smallest doll in the left hand corner. I'm not sure I've seen them go that small and still open.

Overall we enjoyed our lunch at Brick's. The food was nothing to write home about, just your typical Midwestern fare--bland, but that's what many people around here prefer. It's very affordably priced, the staff were friendly, and it was worth it to us just to get a closer look of the building and learn a little about its history.

A Blog With Substance?

2010-07-13T06:00:00.000-05:00

Cheryl at Scrubby Bush was so kind as to nominate me for a blog award recently. While I am so grateful and extremely flattered, I'm not so sure this blog has been "A Blog of Substance" lately. I will try to remedy that and get to posting more often soon. (Whatever happened to "those lazy days of summer" anyway?) Thank you so much for the award, though, Cheryl! It's nice to think someone out there finds some substance here in spite of my bad blogging habits.

To finalize the award, the requirements are a) sum up my blogging philosophy, motivation and experience in five words, and b) nominate ten new recipients who I feel have a blog with substance. The second part is easy peasy. I have so many (too many!) wonderful blogs I read regularly. The only thing difficult is keeping this list to ten. The first part, however, is quite daunting for me. I dread the idea of putting myself or my blog into a five word (five!) box, but I'm going to give it my best shot with words I think are behind most of what I'm trying to do here and in my life.

Searching, observing/contemplating, understanding, appreciating, sharing

Ugh. Technically that's six words, but even that was hard. You have no idea how long I agonized over that. I'm still agonizing over it, but I'm going to move quickly forward to that easier part of listing ten blogs of substance before I change it. Again.

1) Quiet Life - "Miz Booshay" is a photographer specializing in natural light portraits. You may have seen her posts on The Pioneer Woman's photography section. She does a beautiful job of capturing the light in people's eyes and the spirit behind it. Her photos of Katie, her daughter and little model in residence, always make me smile, and her photos of older daughter Emma stop traffic in my kitchen where the computer sits whenever she is featured in a post.
Donna is goofy and fun and has a great sense of humor, too, but what I admire most about Donna and her blog is her encouraging spirit and kind, loving heart. She does her best to build others up in every single post. No matter what is going on in her life, she clings to goodness and joy and helps others to see it as well. Although she says she prefers to be behind the camera rather than in front of it, I think Donna is one of the most beautiful people I know. The love and light shining from her eyes and smile is true beauty you don't see in all those "perfect" people Hollywood holds up as the ideal. Forget your nips and tucks, your facials and botox injections, and other "enhancements"; I want a Miz Booshay makeover.

2) The Gypsy Mama - I only recently started following The Gypsy Mama, and I admit that it was her blog title that first caught my eye. Lisa-Jo isn't actually a gypsy, but she has traveled a lot since first leaving her homeland of South Africa. Like Donna, Lisa-Jo is an encourager. Her posts are often from a Christian perspective and sometimes include scripture, which is a helpful reminder for me, but I think there is wisdom and encouragement there for anyone.

3) Adventure Monkey - Feed your monkey! This is photographer and cyclist Eric Benjamin's motto. His quest to work toward his dreams and live a life of meaning rather than eke out a mere existence is inspiring. I love seeing new developments with his blog and his new Adventure Monkey Magazine, and his photographs of the Flint Hills are breathtaking.

4) Dispatches From Kansas - I've already talked about writer/photographer Tom Parker's blog here. If you haven't already, you must check out this beautifully written blog which also happens to feature gorgeous photography.

5) Breed 'Em and Weep - Jenn Mattern's writing is full of wit and sarcasm one moment and raw emotion the next. Her heart-rending honesty in both prose and poetry and the skill with which she plies her words make me feel connected to this woman I have never met and leave me longing to read more. Hers is a beautiful, complex soul, and she is gracious enough to invite us in just a little. What a privilege that invitation is.

6) My Topography - Artist and writer Christina Sbarro is another exquisite soul with extraordinary vision and perspective able to translate it into gorgeous art, poetry, and bits of prose. The world is a glorious place as seen through Christina's eyes. Each moment, even the most mundane, shines like a jewel when couched in her words and art. I can hardly wait for her book, A Field Guide to Now, to be published.

7) Flyover People - Journalist Cheryl Unruh paints wonderful word pictures of the Kansas prairie and the people who inhabit it. Cheryl knows there's a story waiting just about everywhere, and she finds her stories in what others might think of as the most unlikely places. Her glimpses of small towns across Kansas inspire me to get out and explore it, and they may just make you want to see more of your own state as well. When you visit Flyover People Daily News, you'll have the privilege not only of seeing Kansas through Cheryl's eyes, as revealed in her words and photos, but also through her husband, Dave Lieker's. Dave is another of my favorite Kansas photographers, so be sure to click the link to his page while you're visiting Cheryl. (Not only is Cheryl a great writer, she has great taste and knows other great writers. I discovered five of the blogs in this list through the links in her sidebar.)

8) Expat From Hell - What can I say about the Expat? He is a traveller and a fellow seeker with serious depth, incredible wisdom, and just the right touch of humor and sarcasm. His soul searching posts always hit home for me. Often I think he is talking to me without even knowing it. Perhaps our outwardly very different paths are inwardly quite similar. Or perhaps everyone's is. Whatever the case, Expat has tapped into something with his little white on black musings, and I feel it.

9) Bush Babe - Cheryl from Scrubby Bush nominated me for this award citing my love of all things Australian, so it seems only right to include Bush Babe in this list. She's Australian and I do love her blog. Her stunning photographs of her homeland leave me yearning to visit more each time, but I also love her narrative of a place on the other side of the world that is so similar and yet so very different. I enjoy comparing and contrasting posts about her family's cattle operation at Granite Glen with Ree's posts on The Pioneer Woman. I think she and I have some of the same favorites when it comes to photography subjects, and it is always interesting to me to see how those familiar objects look in a different place or with an Australian twist to them. Visiting her blog is like coming home to find some things just the way you left them, some things turned completely topsy-turvy, and a few almost imperceptible changes thrown in as a surprise to discover only on closer inspection. It feels like home--only not quite. Perhaps it's some sort of alternate universe over there.

10) Bellwether Vance's blog is another one that is somewhat new to me, but I knew from the very first post I read that I liked her style. Whenever I read it, I hear her voice as a combination of Julia Sugarbaker and Mary Jo Shively, my two favorite Designing Women. I don't know what else to say about it except that you must read it for yourself. You'll soon be hooked, too.

Thanks again to Cheryl for the award! I will try to do a better job of living up to it.

Musical Monday - The Wonder of Beautiful Glitter in the Air brings us Closer to Fine

2010-07-12T06:30:00.000-05:00

Or something like that. Last night I did a search for some of Pink's new songs trying to find one I'd heard on the radio a few days ago. I'd only caught part of it, and I knew I needed to hear the rest. Fortunately the DJ announced the artist (and the title, but I forgot that) afterwards, or I would have been looking for quite a while. The song, as it turns out, is Glitter in the Air by Pink, but something about the song made me feel I'd heard it before or that it was very similar to an older song so that I would have been looking for songs by an older artist.
Glitter in the Air - Pink

It's such a simple, beautiful song, full of feeling. Perhaps it is cliche as some have criticized, but only in the same sense that the emotions and experiences expressed are commonplace. In fact, it works because it is common enough for the song to speak to everyone, and the soft simplicity of the melody surrounding the lyrics lets the raw emotion shine through without overplaying it.

Maybe it is the feeling in the song rather than the song itself that seemed so familiar to me. This wouldn't be the first time I've heard a brand new (or new to me) song and felt certain I'd heard it long before it was written. In any case, it made me search for other songs that were possibly similar and might have made me feel I'd heard this before. I didn't find any yet, but I was reminded of some other favorite songs by female vocalists.

Beautiful - Christina Aguilera

Wonder - Natalie Merchant

I could probably do a month of Musical Mondays featuring Natalie Merchant. I've loved her music since high school.

Closer to Fine - Indigo Girls

That's all I have time for this morning. What are some of your favorite songs by female vocalists? There are so many more coming to mind as I type this, but I've got to get busy on my list for the day. Happy Monday and don't forget to whistle (or hum) a little tune while you work.

Birthday Giveaway Winner

2010-07-06T09:03:00.004-05:00

The time has come to announce the winner of my little giveaway.
Just nine entries. The prizes may not be big here, but your chances of winning always are.

Folded the way Suzanne, the Farmer's Wife, taught me.

One winner drawn from the ceramic pot my brother gave me. (He didn't make it, but he made this stuff.)

And the winner is Darla! Darla sent me a message the other day. For some reason she couldn't leave a comment on my blog. Now what is up with that? But if you ever have trouble commenting, just send me message via email, Twitter, or Facebook. I'll be sure to respond. Unless I forget, in which case, send me another message.

Also, I have a confession to make. Darla actually won two ways. I numbered all the comments in the order received and then tried that random integer generator. I got #9, Darla's number. But I didn't trust that thing and tried it the old fashioned way. I don't know what I would have done if I would have gotten someone else's name because then I would have felt wrong about having chosen two different names and only having one winner. But Darla won both ways. Crisis averted. From now on I'll just stick with this old fashioned method. Unless this blog suddenly becomes wildly popular. In which case I will stop blogging, build a cabin in the woods, and live out the rest of my days in total seclusion.

Darla, please let me know your choice of prize (with a link if you've chosen a print) and where I can send it.

Musical Monday - AC/DC Charging the Workout Playlist

2010-07-05T10:19:00.004-05:00

Is anyone else slow getting started this Monday? I think the brats, burgers, and birthday treats are bogging me down. This weekend was hell on my diet and routine. I think I gained 2 of the 6 pounds I had lost over the last month--most of it yesterday. I can't wait to get to the Y for my workout later today and shake this sluggish feeling. Until then I've been playing some of my favorite songs while cleaning the kitchen. Nothing helps me get moving like some AC/DC, and all of these will be on my workout playlist once I unravel the mysteries of loading the iPod.

Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap

Yes, I know it's horrible, but it's hard not to sing along to this song. Then again, AC/DC is not known for squeaky clean lyrics.

Thunderstruck

"Ah ah ah ah ahhh...THUNDER!" I think of this song ever time there's a storm a-brewin'.

Shoot to Thrill

You think after another month of this workout routine I'll be able to wear one of those Iron Man chorus line outfits? Eh, it's not really my style, but a quick reality check reminds me that...

It's a Long Way to the Top If Ya Wanna Rock and Roll

Everyone needs a little bagpipe music in their workout.

Back in Black

This list would be incomplete without it, and it's a helluva workout song.

You Shook Me All Night Long

Probably my favorite rock song evah, this is perfect for the stationary bike, mechanical bull, or whatever you prefer for your workout.

Happy Monday! Don't forget to comment on my last post for a chance to win Tom Parker's book or one of his prints! I'll be drawing names tomorrow.

Favorite Things - A Birthday Giveaway

2010-07-02T11:35:00.003-05:00

Today is my 39th birthday. Birthdays are not much of a big deal to me. I don't care for parties or making a big to-do about anything, including my birthday. Instead I prefer to celebrate by relaxing and enjoying simple, favorite things. Today I want to share some favorite things with you and give one reader the choice of their favorite among these things to have for their own.

The saying goes that a picture is worth a thousand words, but I don't believe that's always true. Sometimes a picture tells a story more clearly, and sometimes, especially in the hands of a gifted storyteller, words paint a mental picture more vivid than any visual representation. Occasionally you find someone whose words and images are equally evocative. Such is the case with writer and photographer Tom Parker.

I've been following Tom's blog Dispatches From Kansas for a while now. (Hat tip to Cheryl at flyoverpeople.net who always has such wonderful links in her sidebar.) It was Tom's words that first gripped me. I don't know if he was doing photography then or just not posting as much of it, but it's the stories I remember from those first visits to his blog. His writing was (and is) so hauntingly beautiful and something in it struck a chord with me. It should have been no surprise to me that his photography would have the same depth, the same haunting quality, the same play of shadow and light.

Tom's words and images are some of my favorite things, so that is what I'd like to share with you today. Have a look around his blog. Read some of his posts. Spend a few hours going back to older posts to see all of the photos if you like. Then come back here and leave a comment with the link to your favorite image or post for a chance to win either a photo print of your choice or a copy of Tom's book, Dispatches From Kansas.

There are a lot of photos to look at Tom's site. Many of them are favorite subjects of mine: old windows and doors, peeling paint, half fallen down buildings, rusty cars, evidence of former glory in the midst of decay. So many of his photos hint at a story and a past and leave me longing to know more. Here are a few I especially like, but it was hard to limit myself to just these, and I had to quit after a while or I'd never have gotten this post up.

This recent photo

Windows
In Adobe Wall
Stone Arch Window
Window with Mural Reflected

Old Rusty Cars
Cow Canyon Trading Post
Pickup Truck Under Motel Sign - I won my choice of print in a drawing on Tom's blog, and this is hanging in our breakfast nook, just to the left of our front door. I love the subject matter and the colors.
Car with Dead Branch
Chevy Grill

Mesa Verde

Black and White
Lone Tree
Stairway in Abandoned Generator Facility
Curtain
Crow

Horse Eye - I love how this photo, especially seen in the smaller size displayed in the post, looks like a bolt of lightning. I didn't know it was a horse eye until I clicked to see this enlarged image.

Steam Engine and Grain Elevator

Happy Accident Abstract

Mountainair, New Mexico

Barn at Sunset

Tomahawk Service Station

Twisted Trunk

I hope you enjoy looking around over at Dispatches From Kansas. Don't forget to come back here and leave a comment for your chance to win. One winner will be drawn from all the names on Tuesday, July 6th.

Your Daily Dose of Cuteness...

2010-06-29T05:00:00.003-05:00

Featuring Esperanza and Rumer

Tee hee! Watch this!

Mom, mom, mom, mama, mother, madre, Esperanza, mom...

What is it Rumer?!?

Nom nom nom.

Musical Monday - More Workout Music

2010-06-28T13:59:00.000-05:00

I've been continuing my workout streak, which is part of the reason I haven't posted much lately--I've been tired! The workouts give me a burst of energy afterward, but I've been pretty exhausted for most of the rest of the day. Then I remembered that I really should be more careful about drinking plenty of water, taking my vitamins, and eating properly rather than just drinking more coffee. Duh! I think it's starting to help.

So, how about some more workout music? These songs were all culled from Na's iPod and rearranged (by her) into a separate playlist that I can use when I'm working out so that I don't have to fly off the elliptical while trying to find a decent song. (I'm getting better, but it could still happen!) Most if not all of these songs have been featured here on Musical Monday before, so they're songs I like, but they also happen to be really good for working out to.

Candyman - Christina Aguilera

I love this song and even have it as one of my ring tones, although I wish that the part they'd chosen for the ring tone wasn't the "makes my panties drop" part. That's a little embarrassing when you've forgotten to turn you phone off during a dentist appointment or at work. Not so perfect for those occasions, but it does have the perfect, lively beat for a workout. The video is one of my all-time favorite videos, too.

Ain't No Other Man - Christina Aguilera

This is another great song and video by Christina Aguilera. The intro and ending are a little slow, but mostly it has a nice, strong beat.

Switch - Will Smith

This is another favorite. You can't help but move to this song.

Teenagers - My Chemical Romance

The beat isn't quite as strong in this song, but it's solid enough and fast enough, and I do love it. I also find the screaming helps me power on through.

Animals - Nickelback

It really disturbs Jo that I not only have this in my workout playlist but that I also like it--and so does Danny. "Do you even know what they're saying?" she shrieked at me during a recent trip to the Y. Uh, yes, now I know even better what they are saying after having the music piped directly into my ears with no outside interference. It's not terribly shocking to me. What is odd is that Jo would think it's okay that Na has it on her iPod (swiped from Caleb's library) but not that I would include it in my playlist.

Girlfriend - Avril Lavigne

Although I've never been that type of girl, I love the energy of this song. It's also fun that Avril plays all three of the main girls in the video, just like Christina was every one of the girls in Candyman.

Can't Touch This - MC Hammer

This is one of those annoyingly stupid songs that sticks in your head and never wants to leave, but it's got a great beat. The major drawback is that it makes me giggle every time I hear it just thinking about those Hammer pants. Now that I've seen this video (which I've posted since embedding was disabled on the original), I'm sure it will only be worse.

I hope some of these songs have inspired you to get up and get moving today. Now I'd better get moving out the door if I'm going to have time to workout!

Musical Monday - Shake That Healthy Butt!

2010-06-21T10:00:00.000-05:00

I've been on a new quest to get into shape and generally live healthier lately. Maybe I'll talk about that more in a future post. Part of this quest involves working out regularly. We have a brand spankin' new Y about half an hour from us--about as close as you're going to get to much of anything out here--near where I do most of my grocery shopping, and I've been making good use of it.

Working out in public is something I'm extremely hesitant to do, though. I'm an introvert, a total wall flower. I do not like feeling the least bit conspicuous. As ridiculous as it sounds, this is why I don't usually wear hats. I love hats, but I feel like they draw attention to you. It's why I hesitate to use my camera as I'd like to in public, why I sing loudly in the car but stop when I pull up alongside another car, and so many other things. The Y, with it's big, open spaces and huge wall of windows facing a main road, terrifies me. I'm there to work off some of my less flattering aspects, and I feel like I'm on stage. Add to that the fact that I am a bit of a klutz and treadmills, aerobics routines, and yoga moves trip, twist, and leave me tangled while on that stage. It's very unnerving, and sometimes I almost can't bring myself to do it. What I need is a distraction and a motivator, so last week I decided to try out the iPod.

I've been very resistant to getting an iPod. I'm the only one in my family who doesn't have one. I don't like the way the new earphones go in your ears, and I don't like the way the old ones flop around on your head. But I was desperate, so I gave it a shot. I borrowed Na's iPod one day and Josh's the next.

Now, the drawback to this is obvious. I didn't have my choice of music. Fortunately, I've become a little more accustomed to the exercise equipment and I was able to fast forward through songs without stopping entirely or hitting my head and flying off. Very fortunate because I had to skip through a lot of songs, especially on Naomi's iPod. Country music, as a rule, is not good for a workout, and much of the hip hop annoys the hell out of me. However, Na did have a few songs that I liked which also had a good beat to workout to.

Hips Don't Lie - Shakira

I've always loved this song, and it seems pretty appropriate for a workout.

Honky Tonk Badonkadonk - Trace Adkins

Official video here.
This was one of the only country songs I didn't skip through and the only one that sort of worked. It has a nice strong beat, and I see a theme developing.

My Humps - Black Eyed Peas

This song is both amusing and annoying. I've featured it here before, and, once again, I can't help thinking of (or linking) Alanis Morissette's version. It makes me giggle just thinking about it.

Ms. New Booty - Bubba Sparxx

This is the most incredibly irritating song. When it first came out, my kids played it incessantly. It did, however, fit with the developing theme and leave me wondering how many songs about butts there could possibly be. Let me just tell you there are a lot. Against my better judgement, I googled. No, all of them will not be listed here.

Bootylicious - Destiny's Child

I don't think this song was actually on Na's iPod. It was some Beyonce song in which she was carrying on about her assets, but I can't remember what it was and don't really care to look. One of the rival schools used this song for a number on Glee, though, and we are all big Gleeks so we're familiar with it.

Baby Got Back - Sir Mix-A-Lot

I know this is on Na's iPod thanks to Shrek. In fact, I think it's the version from Shrek that's on there. And, yeah, I can't help but like it. It's one of those songs you have to sing and dance along to whenever it comes on. Resistance is useless.

To top it off, when I got home and had more of a choice in the music, the first song on the radio was this one.

Fat Bottomed Girls - Queen

Definitely a classic, and you can bet I'll be loading it onto someone's iPod as soon as I figure out how to do that.

No matter how much junk you have (or prefer) in your trunk or what your taste in music, I think there's plenty of music to motivate you to shake it, (shake it), shake that healthy butt!

Odd Father's Day Thought

2010-06-20T09:58:00.003-05:00

I've been looking through old photos this morning.

Whenever I see this one, the same thought crosses my mind.

I have my dad's legs.

Only I shave mine.

My boys have ~~skinny chicken~~ runners' legs like their dad's.

I think the girls are somewhere in between.

Thanks, Dad, for contributing more than just your genes.

And thanks to my sweet husband for the same.

It's not just your ~~skinny chicken~~ legs they have.

Happy Father's Day.

All Occasion Greeting

2010-06-18T21:51:00.002-05:00

Insects are endlessly fascinating to me. Each is a tiny work of art, done in delicate and intricate detail. It gives me such pleasure to see how even the smallest things in nature are formed with such care and perfection. I can't get enough of it.

I've been having fun editing a handful of photos I took the week before last. My purpose in heading outdoors with my camera was to photograph the pretty milkweed I'd seen on our roadside as I was driving home. The milkweed is gorgeous, each sphere a bouquet of miniature flowers in the loveliest pinks and pale greens. I hadn't counted on all the life I would find on just a few plants. There were several different types of butterflies and beetles and flies. I really should try to identify them now that I have photos and a field guide within reach, but I'm just having too much fun editing.

I've been thinking I'd like to make a set of greeting cards with some of my favorites. This one, for instance, would make a wonderful anniversary card. Don't you think?
It wouldn't have to be limited to that, though. I think it could serve nicely as a birthday card for that special someone or just a little note to say "Happy Wednesday."

Smooth Vetch

2010-06-17T19:13:00.002-05:00

Found May 6

Almaden Quick Silver Trail

Los Gatos, CA

We have several different kinds of vetches in Kansas, but smooth vetch was not on the list.

Real posts with real words coming soon--hopefully.

Common Milkweed with Silvery Checkerspot

2010-06-16T20:04:00.004-05:00

Common milkweed along our roadside. This plant was about 3 feet tall. The butterfly is not a monarch, a painted lady, or a regal fritillary, but a silvery checkerspot.

Decorating Challenge - Mom's Kitchen

2010-06-15T10:00:00.001-05:00

This week I'll be helping my mom shop for paint and flooring for her kitchen, and she has given me permission to ask for your input. She's hoping to restore some of the period flavor to her 1915 bungalow. Part of that will come with the 1918 Hotpoint electric stove that we're hoping to squeeze in somewhere.

From what I remember, this is what it looks like. I could go down to the shed and take a photo, but there are large rats in the shed. We'll just have to trust my memory for now and save the photos for when Danny hauls it up to the garage to be cleaned. Because I am not going into that shed. I love all God's creatures--except perhaps rats.

We're scouting out Craig's List and garage sales and salvage stores for an old farmhouse sink to replace her tiny, modern stainless sink. (Those things are expensive new!) Mom would love to eventually have a Monitor Top refrigerator, too, but the paint, flooring, stove, and accompanying decor will be a good start.

1915 is a little bit of an oddball year, so we've been looking at the 1920s for inspiration. Here are a few of the kitchen pics she sent me.

And here is her kitchen as it is now, as viewed from the doorway of the laundry room/back entryway. On the left is a small space with a cabinet (partially shown) and then the door into the dining room. The refrigerator is across from this cabinet next to the wall dividing the laundry room from the kitchen.

As you can see, it is a fairly small, narrow kitchen. Because of this, we want to choose colors and a flooring that won't make it look too busy or boxed in. Mom loves all the checkerboard floor patterns in the old magazine images she's found, but I wonder if something like that would be a mistake in such a small space. We'll be looking for something that can add a splash of color without limiting the decor too much if she wants to change it and which will give a little bit of the right period feel if it can't be an exact match.

Mom really likes a red and white kitchen with blue accents. We moved a lot when I was growing up, but all but one of the kitchens I remember had this color scheme, and that's what she'd like to stick with for this kitchen. We'll either be painting over that paneling or putting up a real wood wainscoting. At first she wanted all white for the walls and cabinets but is now wondering if that will be too much white.

I still need to sew the curtains I promised her and we'll be replacing the drawer and cabinet hardware, too.

Any thoughts or suggestions? I'm sure it will be easier to make decisions once we actually get out there and see what's available. Either that, or it will be completely overwhelming. How would you do it if it were your kitchen makeover? I'd love to hear your ideas. Just bouncing things around with people always seems to help.

Musical Monday - Reckless Kelly

2010-06-14T10:00:00.000-05:00

While we were in California last month, our friends took us to a bar in Santa Cruz to see a band called Reckless Kelly play. I haven't been listening to much country music lately. It's been too depressing, too boring, or just made me want to punch myself in the face. Rascal Flatts really makes me want to punch myself in the face. Just sayin'. Anyway, Reckless Kelly was a refreshing country-ish band.

The band was completely new to me, and I was distracted by a few people who had no concept of or respect for personal space, so I don't really remember the songs we heard that night. They were a little bit country and a little bit rock and roll, but not in an Osmond way, which is a really, really good thing. (LOL, that video reminds me of another one. Oh, that makes me laugh every time!) I think Phil said the songs they were playing were mostly off their new album which was a little more rock and roll than their previous albums. All I know is that it sounded good.

The fiddle player was particularly impressive. Again, I was too distracted by the faded flower child dancing all up in my space to notice, but others in our group told me the fiddle player was singing and fiddling simultaneously, which seems a difficult feat to accomplish. All I know is it sounded really good--and that woman's elbows were continually grazing my face and her sweaty bosom was entirely too close for comfort. But let's focus on something more pleasant: the music. Below are two favorites among the songs I found after we got home.

Ragged As the Road

Wicked Twisted Road

I guess the Australian theme continues for one more day as Reckless Kelly takes their name from Australian outlaw Ned Kelly. You can read more about his exploits here, but my favorite part is his arrest for assaulting a Chinese pig farmer named Ah Fook, which seems the perfect thing to say if you've been arrested--or if you have an aged Indian Princess flopping her sweaty self all over you.

Smoko for World Peace

2010-06-12T14:37:00.004-05:00

Now that I've scared all of my countrymen and maybe a few others away from ever trying Vegemite with photos of my family's reaction to it, I'd like to confess something.
I actually like the stuff! Granted, that first taste was pretty hard to swallow, but after reading Bush Babe's instructions on how to properly apply the Vegemite, I began to see how one might tolerate the stuff.

The key, particularly for Vegemite virgins, is to spread it very thinly over your toast or crackers after first applying a healthy dose of butter. (And if "healthy dose of butter" isn't an oxymoron, I don't know what is, but I do love my butter.)

So, this is how my second try of Vegemite looked. Still not accustomed to the taste but also not entirely repulsed by it, I began to wonder if this was more of an acquired taste.

From what I understand, Aussies begin eating Vegemite as soon as they are weaned and are practically raised on Vegemite alone. (Vegemite and cartons of warm, half-spoiled milk, if I remember Willowtree's account correctly--and I probably do not.) You can't knock something that produces such a vigorous and good-natured population. Seriously, how many unpleasant Australians have you met? Perhaps the world would be a better place if we all ate our Vegemite.

The thought intrigued me. Could an adult with fully formed tastes and cultural prejudices learn to like this tar-like substance? Could Vegemite elevate one to a higher plane and promote peace among the nations? It was a difficult decision, but I was prepared to sacrifice my tastebuds for the slightest chance at world peace and inner enlightenment. And so my brave experiment began.

Today I am happy to report that I not only like Vegemite, I look forward to eating it on my toast everyday, sometimes twice a day. While I haven't yet reached nirvana,--though I do occasionally listen to Nirvana--sitting out on my deck with a cup of coffee, my Vegemite toast, and a good book seems close enough. I think this is what our Australian friends refer to as smoko. I'm still hoping for world peace, and, with Caleb currently deployed, I've found a renewed commitment to achieving that end: I'll continue faithfully eating my Vegemite until he comes home. And then some. For world peace. Between you and me, I'm also hoping if I consume enough Vegemite, Kraft will pay for me to fly to Australia where they'll offer me honorary citizenship and a ride on a kangaroo. But maybe that's just the Vegemite talking.